he was exploring how I thought of my role in different contexts.
He asked me “Who do you think you are” and was about to add
“in your work context?” Because of the accent and the way he
emphasized the words, I heard it as “[Just] who do you think you
are?” The meaning I put on this was “What right do you have to
think of yourself this way?” I am quite sure this was not the way
that he meant it, but the fact that I put this meaning to it meant
that it had a significance for me that was more powerful than
the original. I began to appreciate the arrogance that I was
communicating in the way I was being.Ambiguity is an important aspect of hypnotic language. It
causes disorientation and creates space for the listener to
create their own meaning, one that might take you much longer
to discover at a conscious level. The significance of
encouraging the listener to find their own meaning is that they
are likely to have a higher level of commitment to any meaning
they find for themselves than to any you might offer them.In the example at the beginning of this chapter I referred to the
father who told his daughter not to blow down the straw. His
sentence contained an embedded command: “blow down the
straw.” Our unconscious minds are very obedient and detect any
commands in conversation and seek to fulfill them. So on hearing
this the little girl was doing exactly as her unconscious mind
believed it was being told to do when she blew down the straw.
Words shape our external experience. When my husband’s
new boss told his team that they “must not lose the business
with this client,” he was offering their unconscious minds the
structure of thinking that could lead to loss.
Words sculpt our inner world and subsequently shape our
outer world. What we say to ourselves (our inner dialog) has an
influence on what we see, hear, and feel. Similarly, our spoken
words influence not only ourselves but also our listeners. It is
vital that we take responsibility for the effect we create with
our language if we want to maximize our influence. In other
words, the meaning of our communication is indeed its effect.114 NLP AT WORK
Ambiguity is an aspect of
hypnotic languageWords shape our external
experience