(See Chapter 9 for more on this belief.)
We can embed positive or negative commands. Examples of
positive commands might be:
❏ You can begin to relax.
❏ I have been wondering how you might begin to see a way
forward.
❏ I don’t know if you will begin to feel motivated.
And some negative ones that, when our unconscious minds
find them, are stripped back to the command component:
❏ Don’t think deeply about what you might be learning.
❏ On no account do you need to be aware of what you are saying.
You may already be starting to think about some of the
inappropriate examples you have heard. For example, has
anyone ever come to you and said “Don’t worry, everything is
going to be all right,” when probably what they meant to
communicate was “You can put your mind at rest now.”
You can also embed questions as a way of gently prompting
a response from your listeners:
❏ I am curious to know what you would like to get from this meeting.
❏ I was just wondering what you would like to drink.
Most people will answer the question without even realizing
that they have not been asked a question directly. What they
often experience is a respectful and allowing style of
conversation. This style of questioning is entirely appropriate
when dealing with someone who might feel very sensitive, say
in an appraisal or coaching meeting or with someone who is
feeling nervous in an interview where direct questions might
be too unnerving.
Just this week on one of my courses I heard one delegate say to
another (who wanted to develop a new relationship), “Does
thinking like that make you feel more alone?” If they had been
aware of the effect they really wanted they might have said,
“Does thinking like that make you feel more connected?”
HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE 115“You can put your mind at rest
now”