determines whether a statement is appropriate or not is
whether you have a right to assume the presupposition. Does
a salesperson have the right to assume that you will place an
order? I don’t think so, which is why I would find this style of
question offensive. However, I will not presuppose what you
can believe about it!
Do you realize how much of this you are taking in
unconsciously?
I am opposed to smoking and one of my colleagues, who does
not share my view, is aware of my feelings. We have had
discussions about this where we both tried to convince the other
that we were right. Recently I sent an email to this colleague
talking about a fellow presenter whom I admire very much and
had met for the first time. My colleague knows this person and
responded by saying how much she admired him too and how
caring this presenter was at all times, even in casual moments
like a smoking break.
When I read this I felt an inner conflict and was not sure initially
what that was about. Then I realized that my colleague was linking
something with which I agreed (the admiration that I felt for the
colleague) to something of which I did not approve (smoking).
What my colleague had done is a form of unconscious anchoring
(see Chapter 12), which works very effectively if we want the two
things to be linked together. However, if it is unecological for us
to link the two together, the distortion leads us to experience
the inner resistance that I felt when I read this email.
Nevertheless, as I describe in Chapter 12, anchoring is a
valuable and naturally occurring tool. We can use it for
ourselves and to support and coach others when we link
something that is occurring or is true for them with something
that we want them to respond to. For example:
❏ You are reading this sentence and you are wondering what
other forms of hypnotic language there can be.
❏ You are taking in this information and you are exploring how
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