large man’s handkerchief that was poking out of my pocket,
pulled a face of disbelief, and said “Really!” That was some of
the most useful feedback I have ever had on my image.
What we wear communicates messages about what is
important to us, both generally and in the moment when we
picked that jacket or that suit out of the wardrobe.
One of my friends always wears clothing that has some unusual
detail about it. Often it is the stitching that is different to the
norm or it may be that there is an aspect of the design of the
garment that is unique. It is never very obvious, but if you look
carefully it is always there. What he wears says a lot about his
personality and what is important to him.
Each of the following situations has something in common. In
each case, the overall message that the managers were giving
was at odds with their stated goals for the situation. As the old
expression goes, “It’s not what we say but the way that we say
it,” as well as what we don’t say and what we don’t mean to say
but that slips out of our mouths almost unknowingly.
The managing director was responding to feedback that the staff
wanted to meet with him informally more often than was the
case currently. He usually did a “walkabout” at Christmas time,
rarely more often than that. Having decided to get round and
meet with people more often, he arranged to talk to groups of
staff at the factory site. He wanted to be sure to get to see
everyone, so he planned the time that he would spend with each
group. When he started each group session, in order to help
himself stick to the time he told them that he could only spend
10 minutes with them. The impression this gave far outweighed
the real intention behind the talks.
A senior manager was invited to talk to one of the business
teams to hear their ideas for taking ownership of some of the
business issues. They felt they could support the directors’
strategy for devolving decision making by forming project groups
to make recommendations and decisions to improve the
business processes. This senior manager was very much in favor
of the objective of increased ownership and involvement in
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