NLP At Work : The Difference That Makes the Difference in Business

strategic issues throughout the business. However, each time a

team member suggested an area with which they might get

involved, the manager responded by saying that the directors

were already looking at this issue. When a team member said

they were unaware of this, the manager replied by saying that

clearly they (the directors) needed to improve their

communication with the company. The result of this was that

team members stopped making suggestions for how they could

assume ownership.

I had organized a series of feedback meetings with staff in a

company in which I was doing some leadership training. The

managing director, who was very much a champion for this

training, had insisted that he come along to the meetings too. I

invited the staff to give me open and honest feedback so that we

could apply the learning from the first phase of the training to

the next phase that was about to begin. Each time someone

made a comment, the MD justified or gave reasons to explain

the issue raised. If someone gave feedback that he perceived as

negative, he defended the aspect of the training on which they

were commenting. Eventually the staff stopped giving feedback.

Aligning our behavior with our desired outcome is not only the

most powerful form of influence, but a way of teaching to the

unconscious minds of our listeners/observers.

A director wanted to introduce a new feedback scheme into the

company, one where, instead of waiting for the twice-a-year

appraisal, staff were encouraged to give and invite feedback

continuously. He was due to present his thoughts for the scheme

and the training that he felt would be needed at the board

meeting that afternoon. During the morning he specifically and

informally gave feedback to several of the members of the

board in such a way that they found it easy to accept and were

almost unaware that they had received “feedback” as such.

Unconsciously this director was planting the seed that feedback

can be an informal, everyday process.

Skilled trainers know that if they want to teach the principles

of a topic—let’s say “rapport”—they teach it first to the

146 NLP AT WORK

FACTOR 4

THE WAY WE

DEMONSTRATE SKILLS