NLP At Work : The Difference That Makes the Difference in Business

Getting a balance

A talks mainly about issues at the level of behavior and

capabilities. This person is more likely to be affected by the

behavior of other people, by situations, by the results he

achieves. A's style is likely to be reactive. B, on the other hand,

discusses herself in terms of her identity. This is a person who

knows what she wants and gets it, a happy person, someone

who is proud of herself. This understanding and clarity about

her identity will permeate everything she does and the way she

perceives her experience.

The writer of C, however, describes himself as a shy and

inward person who doesn't believe in what he does and who

wishes he could be different. Even though he is sure about his

identity, it generates behavior that he doesn't want and would

like to change. It is certain that no matter what others do to tell

him he is capable and he need not worry, his beliefs about his

identity will override this.

So the writers of B and C are independently proactive but in

quite different ways, whereas the writer of A, whose attention is

more at the lower levels, is likely to be significantly affected by

day-to-day changes in behavior and environment.

You may be happy as you are. If, however, you are like the

subject of C who wants to change, it is important to identify at

what level you can make this change. For him the overriding

comments were at the level of identity and belief: “I am quite

a shy and inward person,” “I never believe in what I do.” One

does not necessarily have to lead to the other. He could, for

example, remain shy and inward and yet believe in what he

does. For him to achieve the changes he wants, he will need to

bring about change at the level of identity or spirituality.

For the subject of A, however, it would depend on whether

he wanted to change. If he felt he was unduly affected by

behavior and environment and wanted to develop greater

independence, he could pay attention to levels of

capabilities, beliefs, and identity.

I don’t know anyone who has a coherent state of alignment at

all times. What matters more is that the incidence of this state

226 NLP AT WORK

When we go out of alignment