“What do I really want?”We cannot make others’ goals
come true for themengineering. Although he had developed quickly within the
organization, he somehow felt that the job he had wasn’t quite
what he wanted to do, but he wasn’t really sure what that was.
He felt as though he was constantly searching for what his
future might be. Initiative and ambition, particularly in younger
managers, were generally frowned on, although Jim’s own
manager had been supportive toward him. His family, however,
were pleased with what they considered to be his success. In
their terms he had done well.These two examples illustrate some very common thinking
patterns that often lead to disillusionment and perceived
failure to achieve the “real” outcomes. In the UK especially
this is the kind of thinking that is unwittingly often encouraged
and even taught. But it is not the thinking of satisfaction and
fulfillment. And it is certainly not the thinking that is required
in the entrepreneurial business culture in which we live today.
Ask yourself the question: “What do I really want?”❏ Today?
❏ Tomorrow?
❏ This year?
❏ Next year?
❏ In the next five years?
❏ In my career?
❏ In my life?This is not about what you must, should, or ought to do. Nor is
it about what you don’t want to do or what you will try to do.
Those kinds of thoughts tend to be the legacy of the goals that
others want for you rather than those outcomes you truly want
for yourself. Either that or they arise out of your fears of what
you don’t want to lose. Outcome thinking is to do with what you
really dowant. That might seem selfish, but we cannot make
others’ goals come true for them, although we do influence
others by what we achieve for ourselves.
Thinking about what you don’t want is problem thinking. What
is happening when you are thinking this way is that what you
are imagining in your mind is how things are today—that is,
what you want to change—even though you might be saying266 NLP AT WORK