sensible for us to speak or even meet up to discuss the next
stage.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards
Jane
To which, not surprisingly once you understand the principles
of rapport, she received the following reply:
Thanks for the email which read with interest; however I still feel
that my questions are not fully answered ... May I suggest that I
meet with you at your office to clarify the matter of the fee rates
so that I can be reassured that the fees do fit for the work that
you are proposing.
Wendy
How would you have replied? Could you have found a way of
replying that would have avoided the need for a meeting? We
will come back to this email at the end of the chapter and what
Jane did eventually send after we had a session on rapport
building.
It is as important to know what rapport is notas it is to know
what it is. Many people think rapport is chatting about the
weather, the family, and the like. It may be, but only if that is
what the people you are talking to are doing the same. If not,
then to chat about these things might achieve completely the
opposite effect of rapport. If you are with someone who is
aggressive, then although you may not want to be literally
aggressive, you would certainly want to match the strength of
their style in some way. There are some clues later in this
chapter as to how to do this.
Rapport is not about passing the time of day. Rapport is
about joining people where they are in their style so that you
connect with them in a way that supports all future
communication. Rapport may be as much about being hard in
your approach to someone as it is about being soft. And
rapport is not about accepting what anyone says or does. In
fact, by creating an environment of rapport you create the
climate to discuss and influence those things that do present
problems between you and others.
DEVELOP A CLIMATE OF TRUST: RAPPORT 291Many people think rapport is
chatting about the weather!Rapport is about connecting