Achieving a state of rapport is the most important outcome at
the beginning of a negotiation. From then on it is important to
ensure that you maintain that rapport throughout. Without
rapport you have no negotiation. If at any time you lose
rapport, rebuild it, and only continue on to anything else of
import when you have restored it. When you have rapport the
structure of the negotiation suggests itself. The process of what
is happening determines the content.
Genuine commitment to a solution will only exist if it is built
on the values of each of the parties involved. Values are the
principles by which we live and are core to who we are as a
people. A partnership, a relationship, a team, and a company
unite typically because they share common values. People are
attracted to you because of the values you communicate.
It is not enough just to think about the values of the other
party. Respecting and pacing values is a way of building a deep
level of rapport. Without this, any other attempts to match and
pace are superficial and temporary. Identifying and pacing
values is therefore crucial to skilled negotiation. There are
different ways to do this. For example, if someone holds the
value of security, they will look for a solution to the negotiation
that satisfies this value, but they will also want the negotiation
to be conducted in a way that respects their need for security.
They may, for example, want the points to be presented in a
nonthreatening way. If someone's value is fun, it is possible
that they will want their representation of fun to be present
both in the way the ideas are put to them and in the solution.
Your partner in a negotiation will be evaluating you and the
way you present yourself, the venue of the negotiation, and the
ideas you discuss, among many other things. They evaluate
these things against their own values. If they judge a person by
their ability to listen, they will be judging you by the way they
recognize this. And even more significantly, they will have a
unique way of knowing how each of their values has been met.
They know this by a set of rules and standards that constitute
their evidence of fulfillment.
Communicators who are considered to be excellent in their
ability to achieve understanding and influence are people who
Building on valuesDEVELOP A CLIMATE OF TRUST: RAPPORT 299