“What would have to be true
for you...?”Shortcut to building rapport
Ask your customers the most important question of all:
“What would have to be true for you to want me to be your
main supplier for the future?” Then sit back and listen. You will
learn some of the most valuable information for meeting your
customers' needs that you will ever need to know.Have you come to any conclusions about what didn’t work and
what might work with the email at the beginning of this
chapter?
My client realized that her response to the original email
had been predominantly auditory when her client’s email was
visual and feelings. In particular, the client was saying
(covertly) that her feelings were not being acknowledged and
that was true—in the communication they weren’t.
The consequence of this was that Jane replied matching not
only the sensory preferences but also the sequence in which
she used them, so that they matched the sequence her client
had used in her email. They did subsequently have a meeting
in which Jane addressed and explored Wendy’s feelings.
Previously she had assumed that because Wendy was in the
purchasing department it would be inappropriate to bring
feelings into their communication (despite all the clues in the
emails). The consequence was that both parties said they had
the most productive meeting they had ever had and they
reached full agreement on fees and a way forward.Before any contact with the other person:1 Choose the person with whom you would like to enhance
the rapport you have or expect to have.
2 Imagine yourself having the kind of rapport with them that
you would really like to have.
3 Imagine yourself being connected to them in a way that
fully respects who they are.304 NLP AT WORK