Shortcut to perceptual positions
surprising to find yourself responding nonassertively.
However, the difference in using NLP techniques to achieve
assertion compared with more traditional approaches is that
by changing your thinking process you will find your own words
and phrases. You will discover your own assertive nonverbal
behavior. NLP gives you the space to discover your own
solutions and styles that fit with who you are and who you want
to be. It assumes you already have all the resources you need
to achieve what you want. NLP is a process that enables you to
draw on these resources when and where you want them.1 Put yourself in your shoes and identify:
❏ What you are seeing.
❏ What you are hearing.
❏ What you are feeling physically and emotionally.
2Break state.
3 Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and identify:
❏ What they are seeing (as if you are them).
❏ What they are hearing.
❏ What they are feeling.
4Break state.
5 Put yourself in the shoes of an outsider so that you can see
yourself and the other person from a distance and ask
yourself:
❏ What are you seeing and hearing?
❏ How are these two people (you and the other)
maintaining a perfect system by being the way they are
being and doing what they are doing?
❏ What is it that the more the you out there does, the more
the other person out there does?
❏ What is the positive intention behind what is happening
for you (the you out there)? (You could also ask this
question as “What is the learning intended for you in this
situation?”)
6 Go back into your own shoes with this balanced thinking
about the situation. How does that feel? How might you
now go forward in this situation?322 NLP AT WORK