communicating with each person you meet. There are
hundreds of filters that we use every day to translate
experience into perception. What follows is a “starter set.”
In our example, for Bill to build rapport and thereby his
understanding with Janet, he could have replied in the
following way:Janet “I’d like Peter to go to the next meeting.”
Bill “Yes, Peter would make some useful contributions.
Let’s note that, so when we have decided what areas of
the plan didn’t work we can also decide who else we
might want to include.”
Janet “This is like another idea I have about what we might
do to improve the office layout.”
Bill “You come up with lots of ideas, Janet. Can we discuss
those when we have gone through my idea about the
overall plan?”We don’t always know what will work in advance, but by having
an awareness of what is and what isn’t working we give
ourselves choice. Choice is the key to success.
Let’s explore some of the filters.Think of a conversation you had recently with one of your
colleagues. As you think of this conversation, pay attention to
how you are thinking about it. For example, are you seeing,
hearing, and feeling the situation as if you are in your own
body, i.e., seeing it out of your own eyes, hearing it with your
own ears, and experiencing the feelings of being there? Or are
you experiencing the situation as if you are outside of your
own body, i.e., seeing yourself in the situation, hearing
yourself as if you were an observer? The experience of being
in your own body is referred to as associatedand the experience
of being outside of your own body is known as dissociated.Pay attention for a moment to your surroundings. You may
begin to notice what you see around you, the quality of the light,38 NLP AT WORK