Dependence and independencefeelings, images, and voices as their evidence of fulfilment.
Your preference here will make a big difference to the way
you work. If you are externally referenced you may be more
likely to depend on having others around you. If, however, you
are internally referenced, then you are independent of
external people and events.
People who are independent in style are usually internally
referenced. This is a characteristic pattern of senior managers.
They can be concerned about what happens outside
themselves; they need to be! However, they do not depend
on external circumstances to feel satisfied. Can you imagine a
managing director who depended on having his staff tell him
that he was doing OK? Some of the leading figures of our time
have succeeded because of their ability to persevere despite
the external feedback they have received.I was explaining to a client how he might restructure his
management team. He seemed unsure, although he accepted the
principle of what I was saying. We discussed the plans in a
number of different ways. I eventually reflected his uncertainty
back to him. He replied, “I just don't see it, Sue.” I explained again
and he replied, “I just don’t get the picture.” At that point I drew
it on the whiteboard. “Now I see what you are saying,” he said.Everyone has a specific means by which they become
convinced. In this client’s case the principal factor was that he
needed to see the ideas visually before he was convinced they
would work. So part of what makes someone convinced is the
channel through which they receive the information.
Other people might equally well have been convinced by:❏ Hearing what I had to say.
❏ Trying it to find out if it worked in practice.
❏ Reading the plan in more detail.There are differences in the way people need to receive
information within these broader categories. Some people46 NLP AT WORK