The Panacea of Knowledge 137once again chided him for having missed a New Year's visit, Nietzsche
wrote to his friend Gersdorff: "I cannot imagine how anyone could be
more loyal to W in all the ways that count and be more devoted than I.
... But in small unimportant matters and by maintaining a certain
reserve from more frequent personal interaction, which is essential for
me and could almost be thought of as 'sanitary,' I must retain my free-
dom so that I can maintain my loyalty in a higher sense" (.Β 4,131).
Nietzsche's first, cautious insubordinations began to develop out of
this sanitary reserve. In the spring of 1874, Nietzsche attended a per-
formance of Brahms's 'Triumphal Song." He was so impressed by this
piece that he brought the score along to Bayreuth when he came for a
summer visit, and played excerpts from it for Wagner, knowing full well
that the latter held Brahms in low esteem. The Wagners were furious.
Cosima noted in her diary: "In the afternoon we play the Triumphal
Song' of Brahms. Great shock about the poor quality of this composi-
tion that is praised to us by our friend Nietzsche.... Richard gets quite
angry" (7V/IF1,191). Four years later, thinking back to the quarrel about
Brahms, Nietzsche noted down that Wagner had a "profound jealousy
of anything great... hatred of what he cannot himself attain" (8,547).
As long as Nietzsche continued to cling to Wagner, he was clearly and
at times painfully aware of the latter's imperious streak, but he tolerated
it, recognizing that such inconsiderate behavior on the part of a genius
like Wagner simply had to be indulged. It is striking that Nietzsche
reacted more and more frequendy with illness when a visit to the
Wagners was due. The worst of his bouts came during the summer of
1876 in the weeks preceding the first Bayreuth Festival. The fourth
Untimely Meditation, an essay on Wagner, had just been published, and
Wagner had reacted to his advance copy with great enthusiasm: "Your
book is tremendous! How did you get to know me this well?" (N/W
285). Nietzsche could therefore count on a cordial reception from
Wagner. Nonetheless, his body rebelled. On the day before his departure
for Bayreuth, he wrote to Gersdorff: "My everyday health is wretched!"
(B 5,178). When he heard how Bayreuth was preparing for the onslaught