Inventing a Life 27monitor his own thought so as to experience the workings of his multi-
layered world of ulterior motives, self-deception, and fraud.
Nietzsche was able to track himself masterfully from an early age.
During his military service in 1867, he noted: "It is a good ability to be
able to observe one's condition with an artistic eye and even in pain and
suffering, awkwardness, and matters of that sort to have the Gorgon
gaze that instantaneously petrifies everything into a work of art: that
gaze from a realm without pain" (/3,343).
Distancing oneself from one's own life can freeze that life into an
image, giving it the semblance of a work of art but depriving it of vital-
ity. For this reason, Nietzsche opted for the epic method. "Another good
ability is being able to recognize and assess everything that is personally
relevant for us as a step toward refinement" (/ 3,343).
The young Nietzsche undertook his first autobiographical sketches
as a narrative strategy for mapping out his life and the course of his
intellectual maturation. The prospect of transforming a life into a book
fascinated him and he concluded his first autobiography of 1858 with
this lament: 'If only I could write quite a few of these little volumes!"
(/ι,32).
As a young boy, Nietzsche began to discover his keen delight in writ-
ing, which he indulged even while playing children's games. Barely able
to contain his eagerness to record his experiences, he always rushed to
note down in his "little book" every detail of his games and have his
playmates read his compositions. The game itself paled in comparison
with his account of the game. For Nietzsche, games provided the stim-
ulus and raw material for his later jottings. As his experiences unfolded,
he was already crafting his narratives of them. He captured the fleeting
moment and infused the present with imminent meaning.
Nietzsche held to this method when structuring his later life as well.
He would not setde for producing a series of quotable sentences;
instead, he sought to organize his life as a quotable foundation for his
thought. All of us ponder our existences, but Nietzsche strove to lead