256 Nietzsche
self for having been oblivious to all of these circumstances and for hav-
ing had such a poor grasp of human nature. He had gone along with the
idea of a threesome and failed to notice, as he later realized, that this
plan was just a scheme to put him off. After Tautenburg, Salomé and
Rèe carried on with this plan for a while so as to phase him out gradu-
ally. While he was still clinging to the idea of the threesome, Salomé and
Rèe had already put their plan for communal living into practice in
Berlin. To make matters still worse, there were the awful denigrations
communicated to him by his sister, which he believed more fully once he
felt excluded by Salomé and Rèe. Allegations that he was an egotist, that
he was pursuing sexual objectives under the guise of idealism, and that
his writings were those of a semideranged man (Β 6,399; mid-July 1883)
etched themselves into him, and were extremely difficult to ignore.
Nietzsche had put his finger on the problem when he claimed to lack
immunity and "natural protections," such as the diversion of regular
contact with other people. The recluse was tortured by his fantasies.
Later, when he read Flaubert's Temptation of Saint Anthony, he found lit-
erary confirmation of what it meant to be a victim of one's own tortured
fantasies. But Nietzsche struggled for a will to power over himself. He
became wary of his own suspicions and was suddenly able to see all of
this tumult in another light. As he wrote on August 14, 1883, Salomé
once again seemed to him "a creature of the first rank; it is such a pity
about her.... I miss her, warts and all" {B 6,424).
He never clearly stated what these alleged "warts" actually were; we
can only conjecture what he meant He had bared the innermost work-
ings of his mind to her as never before to another human being, sensing
an unparalleled depth of understanding between them. Salomé touched
the core of his "talents and objectives" (B 6,254; Sept. 9, 1882), and
Nietzsche felt that she understood him completely: "Several major
directions of the spiritual and moral horizon are my most powerful source
of life. I am glad that our friendship has struck its roots and hopes in this
very soir (Β 6,204; June 12,1882). In fact, he considered the two of them
t (^4) all too similar, 'blood relatives'" (Β 6,237; Aug. 14, 1882). Nietzsche