Schopenhauer and the Will to Style 43we cannot know ourselves absolutely until we take action. Nietzsche
pondered this issue in early 1869, when he learned of his appointment
to Basel and was reviewing his prior development to figure out how he
ought to react to this offer of a professorship. He was now committing
himself to a future in classical philology. But how did he end up in
philology? Was it a '^baroque caprice" of external fate? He had had
exemplary, inspiring teachers of philology, the special aura of Pforta,
talent, diligence, and a love of combinations and conjectures—but none
of this sufficed to explain his own development. Shordy before moving
to Basel, he opted for a particular path to self-understanding: "The feel-
ing of not getting to the basis of universality drove me to the arms of
exacting scholarship. Then the longing to escape from the abrupt mood
swings of artistic inclinations into the harbor of objectivity" (/5,250).
Self-scrutiny brought him to the realization that it was not external
pressure or the prospect of a career and professional security, nor pas-
sion for philology, that determined his choice of education. Rather, he
had chosen philology as a means of discipline in the face of temptation
by the enormous horizons of perception and artistic passions. The
"groping hand of instinct" (/5,250) had obviously not led him to travel
out onto the open sea, but instead recommended that he be content with
looking out onto the horizon from the shore. His feelings warned him
to beware his own longings, and hence he was prepared to bow to self-
elected constraints.
First he acceded to the wish of his mother, who wanted him to
become a pastor and follow in the footsteps of his deceased father. But
after only a single semester in Bonn, he broke off his study of theology
and turned to the exclusive study of classical philology. Of course, he
was far from finished with Christianity, but the Christian dogmas of res-
urrection, grace, and vindication by faith no longer had any binding
force. When he returned to Naumburg during the first semester break in
early 1865, his mother was horrified to see her son demonstratively
refusing to take communion. An emotional quarrel ensued. Finally, she
broke down in tears and was consoled by one of his aunts, who pointed