are sick of it and never want to again, but still we have another
argument.”
Ãcariya Mun then continued: “You see, this is the very
nature of the world: one moment there’s affection, another moment
there’s friction, anger, and hatred. Even though you know it to be
wrong, it’s hard to correct. Have you ever seriously tried to correct
this problem? If so, it shouldn’t happen very often. Even a min-
imum effort should be enough to keep it under control. Other-
wise, it’s like eating three meals a day: in the morning you quar-
rel, in the afternoon you quarrel, and in the evening you quarrel
- regularly around the clock. Some people even end up in divorce,
allowing their children to become caught up in the conflagration
as well. They are innocent, yet they too must bear the burden of
that bad kamma. Everyone is affected by this blazing fire: friends
and acquaintances keep their distance due to the shame of it all.
Assuming both parties are interested in settling the issue, they
should be aware that an argument is a bad thing, and stop as soon
as it starts, and make an effort to correct it at that point. The
matter can then sort itself out so that in the future such prob-
lems don’t recur. For instance, when anger or aversion arises, first,
think of the past you have shared together; and then, think of
the future you will share living together for the rest of your lives.
Now compare this to the malice that’s just arisen. That should be
enough to lay the matter to rest.
“Mostly, people who go astray do so because they insist on
having their own way. Without considering whether they’re right
or wrong, they want to personally dominate everybody else in the
family – something which just isn’t possible to achieve. Such arro-
gance spreads and rages, singeing others until everyone is scarred.
