course the spiritual partner who was counting on him – with no
lingering regrets whatsoever. After all, it was an event that had
a dramatic effect throughout the world systems. But rather than
rejoice with delight, as she would have done in the past when
they were together, this time she felt slighted, prompting an unor-
thodox reaction. She thought instead that he was being irrespon-
sible, neglecting to consider the loyal spiritual companion who
had shared his suffering, struggling together with him through
so many lifetimes. She felt devastated, now left alone in misfor-
tune, clutching dukkha but unable to let go. He had already gone
beyond dukkha, leaving her behind to endure the burden of suf-
fering. The more she thought about it, the more she felt like one
bereft of wisdom who, nonetheless, wanted to reach up to touch
the moon and the stars. In the end, she fell back to earth clutching
her misery, unable to find a way out of such grievous misfortune.
Despondent, hapless being that she was, and struggling to
endure her misery, she pleaded with him for assistance: “I am des-
perately disappointed. Where can I possibly find happiness? I so
want to reach up and touch the moon and the stars in the sky! It’s
just terrible, and so painful. You yourself are like the moon and
the stars up in the sky shining brightly in every direction. Having
established yourself in Dhamma, your existence is never bleak,
never dreary. You’re so completely content and your aura radi-
ates throughout every part of the universe. If I am still fortunate
enough, please kindly show me the way of Dhamma. Please help
me bring forth the bright, pure knowledge of wisdom,^18 releasing
me quickly from the cycle of repeated birth and death, to follow
you in the attainment of Nibbãna so that I will not have to endure
this agony much longer. May this vow be strong enough to pro-
jacob rumans
(Jacob Rumans)
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