prepare themselves for such an eventuality so that they may pros-
per now and in the future.
When Ãcariya Mun passed away, I saw the incredibly harm-
ful effects that such a loss can have. He was only a single individual,
but vast numbers of monks and lay devotees were so grieved by his
death that they appeared to be left in a state of ruin – like a build-
ing whose foundation has been damaged so that its entire struc-
ture suffers accordingly. I was shocked by this development, and
worried for the future of the circle of practicing monks who could
easily suffer damage without the protection of a strong teacher. If
we do not make the effort to intensify our practice and get results
while our teacher is still alive, upon his death we will be like the
living dead, lacking firm principles of our own to hold on to.
I myself was caught woefully unprepared at that time. It was
a terrible experience. I felt as if the winds of a cyclone were raging
through my heart, blowing me in all directions. One storm blew
in to assail me with the thought that I had been left stranded
without a refuge; another blew in to fill me with doubts and left
me wondering about whom I could possibly rely on now. Then a
gale blew through, driving the thought that, having passed away
sublimely without any concerns, he had left me behind feeling
empty and lifeless to drift along hopelessly without a mainstay
to which I could cling. Yet another wind buffeted me with the
thought that everything would come to an end now that he was
gone: Who would I stay with now that my father had died? Did
this really signal my downfall? No sooner had I begun to stand
on my own than my father left me. What a terrible misfortune!
Another howling wind inveighed against the miserable bad luck
of this poor orphan: I am finished for sure this time, and at such
jacob rumans
(Jacob Rumans)
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