The Times Magazine 43will need to be patient because this is not a
simple issue and may take time.”
But in that meeting, some comfort was
taken at least: two siblings without a mother
and a woman with no children of her own,
who felt protective over them and in some
way could now try to help as she had been
helped. “I hadn’t really appreciated the level
of their trauma until I met them,” she says.
For Sophie, it was an instant connection.
“I’m extremely attached to her because she
understands us so well, despite having only
met us the once. We gained an extremely
important ally as she showed us that it is
possible to come out the other side.”
The police have tracked down Sandra
Clifton and made her aware of who she is
with, but she dismissed the inquiries, saying
she was perfectly happy. She has not seen her
children for seven years. “She adored us. She
lived for us,” explains Sophie sadly. “We just
want her back.”
During her absence, Sandra’s elderly
parents have died. She was a much loved
only child. She did not return for the funerals.
Last year, Jake Clifton attempted to get the
house his mother inherited from her parents
protected for her by putting it into trust.
Sandra successfully challenged the attempt.
Jake saw her for the first time via video link
six months ago, in a virtual court case, her
face mostly covered by a hood and scarf.
She accused him of trying to steal from
her, despite the judge making it clear that
no such thing was legally possible.
“The judge was very sympathetic to us,”
explains Jake. “The problem is my mum
has been trained, controlled to do whatever
Freegard wants her to say and do. When the
police found her to tell her that we wanted
to hear from her and to tell her who she was
with, she said, ‘I’m not bothered. I know who
I am with.’
“The police technically don’t have any
grounds to say or do anything because as far
as they are aware she is happy and healthy,”
Jake says. “Sadly, the law doesn’t do a lot for
people like my mum.”
The loss of their mother to her new
relationship, the appearance at least of her
having abandoned them, has had lasting effects
on both children, who now live in Berkshire.
Hendy-Freegard locked Jake out of the
house at 16. He went to live with his father.
Sophie says she was brainwashed to believe
that her father was destructive, that Jake had
“made his choice” and that contact was
detrimental to her. She had an envelope titled
“The Lies and Slander of Mr Mark Clifton”
pinned on her bedroom noticeboard for all her
father’s letters telling her he loved her. It took
a friend, and her leaving the family home, to
reunite Sophie with both Jake and her father.
“I’d been totally brainwashed. Every day,David [Hendy-Freegard] would say, ‘You don’t
ever want to speak to your dad again, do you?’
Again and again and again. It was like a drill.
It doesn’t start like that. It was drip-feeding.”
When asked in the documentary, “What if
your mother is happy and Freegard is living a
new innocent life?” Jake responds, “Why has
he done what he has done to us then?”
Hendy-Freegard was not able to break
the bond between the siblings, just as he was
unable to break it between Sarah Smith and
her family. “We didn’t speak for two years, but
when I saw her face again it was like nothing
had ever happened,” Jake says.
Hendy-Freegard has been made aware
of the upcoming film via a letter sent to the
last known address. It is not known if Sandra
Clifton received the letter that was sent to her.
Key to maintaining the Cliftons’ mental
well-being during filming has been the
involvement of two psychologists, Dr Linda
Dubrow-Marshall and Professor Rod Dubrow-
Marshall, both of whom specialise in the study
of coercive control and lead a course on it at
the University of Salford.
The clinical belief of the doctors is that
this kind of behaviour – the web of lies, the
coercion, the delight in control – is suggestive
of a traumatising narcissist.
Dubrow-Marshall explains, “They gain
pleasure and power from traumatising others.
The behaviour exhibited with Sandra Clifton
shows all the red flags of coercive and
controlling behaviour, and if you put that
together with what is known already about
[this person’s] propensity for deception and for
coercion, clearly [he] presents a significant risk.
“What we don’t have [as a society] is a
coercive and controlling register. There is no
evidence that this particular individual has
reformed. He might argue differently. You
would think he would come forward and makethat argument if he really believed it to be
true. So in this instance one is inclined to
come to the opposite view. So I do think
there’s an issue here of public protection and
I do think the government should be thinking
about it. Where there is evidence of people
convicted of coercive and controlling
behaviour not mending their ways, I think
the public need to be warned.”
As Sarah Smith understands more than
anybody, following the quashing of his kidnap
convictions Hendy-Freegard is not guilty in
law of coercive control, which did not exist
back he was tried. His convictions relate only
to fraud. (He could have been tried under the
new law in relation to Smith as, by the end,
she had sex with him.)
Dubrow-Marshall says, “Unfortunately,
the legal system seems to fail the victims.
I think it is really important, almost as a
matter of public service, that it’s highlighted
that individuals [like this] exist. My point is
that the government needs to take notice. It
needs to make it easier for the public and for
the Crown Prosecution Service to take actions
against perpetrators of this nature and it needs
to create warning lists so that people can be
aware of the risks.”
One of the heartbreaking questions Sophie
Clifton asked both psychologists was, “How
do I know if I have learnt the behaviour from
him – how to manipulate people?”
“And it showed what a thoughtful, sensitive
person Sophie is,” explains Dubrow-Marshall.
“It is exactly that kind of sensitivity that
would protect her from hurting people. There
were definitely attempts [by Hendy-Freegard]
to control the Clifton children. But I am
always in awe of the capacity for resilience
and recovery in people.”
“My hope for them is that at some point
Sandra is brought to reality like I eventually
was,” Sarah Smith says.
“Perhaps other women might come
forward. Perhaps somebody will reach out and
Sandra Clifton might just come home. Perhaps
other families too will now be on the lookout.”
“What comes across to me so powerfully,”
says Dubrow-Marshall, “is just how, by bad
luck, a person of this nature can show up in
your life and how really important it is for
people to be able to recognise the warning
signs, to be able to draw on support and
resources to prevent harms from happening.
It’s about getting the message out that con
artists, fraudsters, traumatising narcissists are
around us and we need to better detect these
people when they come into our midst.”
“We are better than this situation,” says
Sophie Clifton. “We are going to fight for
our mum.” nThe Puppet Master: Hunting the Ultimate
Conman launches on Netflix on January 18‘Mum adored us, she
lived for us. We just
want her back’
Sophie and Sandra Clifton in 2010COURTESY SOPHIE CLIFTON