of being a shadow and the ennui born of invincibility,
I swapped my sniper rifle for a rocket launcher or two.
I destroyed everything. The people, the buildings,
the vehicles, the trees and grass. I blazed with the
brightness of a thousand suns. I knew then it was time for
the endgame, to face the Jackal... and discover a warlord
who had come to regret his actions, just as I had come to
revel in mine.
Having the M-79 again makes killing effortless.
Satisfying. I see the roadblock and try to drive round it,
but I’m daring them to spot me. “Just try it,” I think.
That becomes, “I’ll teach you for messing up my shiny
Jeep.” I thought it would make the killing less disturbing,
but it just makes it less personal, even funny. I’m changing,
and it’s changing the nature of the trip. My notion of a
good time shifts like a snake.
The idea of snatching a few minutes of magical
serenity between the serious business of surviving a civil
war, as a counterpoint to the violence, the corruption and
decay... that worked. It made the sky, the sun, the animals,
the desert sand and forests sacrosanct... all immune to the
violence. Killing people so I can enjoy them in peace is
taking the edge off that awe. I’m slaughtering
mercenaries, because I can’t get to the hang-gliders.
I’m worse than the monster waiting for me at that final
pass, worse than the man who hunted him 13 years ago.
The Jackal misunderstands his Nietzsche, of course.
There’s nothing inevitable about what happens in the
UAC. The ‘power’ in ‘will to power’ isn’t Kraft – control
and force – it’s Macht – sublimation, overcoming the self
and selfish, the channelling of force for creativity.
I look at my photographs. Is that what I’ve done?
Yuck. I need a shower.I SEE THE ROADBLOCK AND
TRY TO DRIVE ROUND IT, BUT
I’M DARING THEM TO SPOT ME
EXTRA LIFE
NOW PLAYING I UPDATE I MOD SPOTLIGHT I HOW TO I DIARY (^) I WHY I LOVE I REINSTALL I M U S T P L A Y
I waited a long time to get the
morning sun for this shot.
Also I killed eleven people.
Lots of expensive
cars just lying
around a warzone.