write things down. I like words a lot, as you
know. I have always been very fond of words,
and the different sounds they make. But, for me,
I think the real question is, Why do I continue to
write? Because, for me, I think that writing is a
way of continuing to hope. When things some-
times feel as if they’re not going to get any better,
writing offers a way of trying to connect with
something beyond that obvious feeling...
because you know, there is hope in connecting,
and so perhaps for me it is a way of remembering
I am not alone. And the writing may be sending
tentacles out to see if there is a response to that.
Michael: So writing is a way of being
connected?
Lucille:Yes.
Michael: But part of that connectedness for
you is also bearing witness, isn’t it?
Lucille:Yes. If you bear witness, you remain
rooted in some way. You continue to feel what
you see matters. What you hear matters. It’s a
way to connect fully, instead of just
intellectually.
See, I believe in energy. I believe there is
energy. It exists, and it continues to exist.
And I believe it exists in humans, and it’s
sort of like if someone says, ‘‘Oh, everything
is going to hell, I have seen it.’’ Well,Ihave
seen something other, and if that first mes-
sage is out there, then the other message
should be out there too.
You know, I have seen other. Theworsthas
neverhappened to me. Because even in my imag-
ination, even when it seems like something
really, really bad has happened, I can imagine
something worse than that. And it’s not an
either/or. What it means is that even in the face
of this madness, there still is, ‘‘itcould havebeen
even beyond that,’’ but it wasn’t.
Michael: Do you feel that writing toward that
positive energy is a necessary thing to counter-
balance the negative?
Lucille:I think that you recognize the neg-
ative. You have to mention it when you see it.
I believe in mentioning that which is negative.
Michael: But if we didn’t acknowledge it, if
we didn’t mention it, if we didn’t write over against
it, that would create more space for...
Lucille:For IT. Right. For its energy to
expand.
Michael: So part of the act of writing is a way
of keeping back the darkness?
Lucille:Yes.
Michael: When you talk to your students
about writing, what do you encourage them to do?
Lucille: Well, one does not write to be
famous, you know? First of all, how famous is a
writer, when you think about it? And I don’t write
because I have a mission to heal the world. My
mission is to heal Lucille if I can, as much as I can.
What I know is that I am not the only one who
has felt the things I feel. And so, if what I write
helps to heal others, that’s excellent, but my main
thing is for me not to fall into despair, which I
have done on occasion and could do at any time.
Michael: So, your sense for young people is to
write because...
Lucille:To write because you need it. It will
somehow help you get through a difficult life.
Don’t just accept the surface as the reality. You
know, there is form and there is substance.
Choose substance, mostly. You can’t do it all
the time, I suppose. I certainly don’t. But at
least be aware of the difference. Pay attention.
Michael: You do an awful lot, Lucille, prob-
ably too much: you write regularly, you teach, you
give way too many readings, you sit on boards and
panels, you serve as a major competition judge
once or twice a year. You work too hard. You
don’thaveto do all these things you do. So
what’s that about? Is it compulsive, are you a
missionary in your own way? Every time you’re
in front of an audience, every time you’re in front
of the classroom, you are trying to not just be a
good woman but to encourage other people to be
good. What’s involved there?
Lucille:I don’t know. I think that I would
have been a good preacher [laughs]. I think that
sometimes some of it is feeling that I have to
prove that I am a good person. But also I have
always been someone who was very affected by
injustice, by what seems unfair. And sometimes I
feel that maybe I can help.
Michael: Whatever it is that causes that, it’s
what I see as a calling of yours. You call others
forth to be their best selves, and you inspire others
toward that. I hope you realize what a gift that is
to your students. They don’t see many professors
in front of them who are sharing their own struggle
to be their best self, to fight against injustice, to
fight against discrimination without becoming
bitter.homage to my hips