26 T3 FEBRUARY 2022Horizon
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ILLUSTRATIONS: STEPHEN KELLY
A
Oh man, this question.
Every time, every year, on
the dot. Allow GaGu to give
you his unhelpful and overly irked
answer: dummy, you don’t need
gadgets. You need mental fortitude
and a plan that suits you. This
advice comes from bitter, hard-
earned experience by a Guru who
spent his thirties ballooning further
after every brief period of kale and
Couch to 5K. You need something
sustainable and achievable,
something that isn’t a one-and-
done blast but can instead be done
across the year. And forgive yourself
for indulging. You are (GaGu
presumes) a human. You’re allowed.Do you need an Apple Watch
Series 7 (from £369) to keep tabs
on your health when a cheap
alternative will do? Should you
clutter your kitchen with six-use
juicers and soon-to-be-dusty air
fryers? Be realistic, those things
aren’t going to help when you’ve
health-kicked your way into
resenting them. Guru permits goodtrainers (on the basis of the Captain
Samuel Vimes ‘Boots’ theory of
socioeconomic unfairness,
Pratchett fans), but taking baby
steps and slowly transforming your
lifestyle is a much safer and more
sensible path to follow than
thinking gadgets are going to do
away with your gut. You can move
on to the big stuff when your mind
is in the right place.
Of course, if you don’t like this
answer, Guru can be hired as an
intensive personal trainer at entirely
unreasonable rates, and you can
buy all the treadmills and home
gyms you need from his personal
store, located in his Shed of Shame.I’m on a health kick. What gadgets do I need?
JAMIE ADAMS, HALESOWENTaking baby steps is a much
safer and more sensible path to
follow than thinking gadgets are
going to do away with your gut
T3’s priceless techmeister gives
advice you can’t buy anywhere
ABOVE
Keep your body
in tip-top shape –
but remember to
keep your head