I got a yes, I got a no, I got a maybe.
What do you think?
Was the letter hypnotic?
To me, this is not a hypnotic letter.
In fact, it is a terrible letter. I sent his $20 back, because he said
he’s broke. The only reason I did not burn this is because I need
his address, which is on the back of the second letter, so I can
send it back.
Why isn’t it a hypnotic letter?
My observation is, first of all, he got my attention, which is one
of the key ingredients for writing good copy. He FedExd it to me;
very important. Twenty dollars: very eye-catching.
It begins well: “I have an offer that I would like to share with you
that will make you a stack of those $20 bills in one to two weeks.”
That’s good; he’s speaking to me.
However, from there it is all about him. The first statement was
something to the effect that he wants to buy a motorcycle. I do
not care if he needs a motorcycle. He wants to buy it because he
made a promise to a friend. I do not care that he made a promise
to a friend.
The second one is that he has made bad decisions about
money. He is broke. I do not care about that. I would care, proba-
bly, if he told me in different terms, but a lot of people are broke.
He’s telling me that he is broke and he wants to do something that
is off-the-wall.
Third is that he is on vacation. I do not care if he is on vacation.
He wants to make use of his vacation time and make some money.
Then he is asking me to do a mailing to his list, and he is claiming
he is a marketing specialist. Where is the proof that he is a market-
ing specialist? So, this is full of doubts.
I am just thinking that this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking
about. Then he wants to charge people on my list $5,000 to
$25,000 to do marketing, which is what I do! Why would I send my
people to him and then let him get half of the money that all
should go to me?HYPNOTIC WRITING