146 A Programmer’s Guide to the Mind
over half of his body, or cluck in a vaguely disapproving manner as his
little one ricochets off the hood of a passing car? Surely one of the jobs of
a benevolent deity is protecting children from harm, and teaching them
how to survive in a world of real consequences.
I suggest that the answer to our dilemma lies in the two attributes
which we have discovered must be part of conscience if it is to produce life.
First, any statement of 'belief' taught by a parent must include a sense of
time: “Take a cookie and you receive a spanking” is one example. The
spanking occurs at a specific time, and then it is over. On the other hand,
“You are a rotten, stupid jerk” has nothing to do with time. It is a blanket,
spatial fact, which never changes. Like the black person under apartheid,
Johnny is consigned to a lifetime of inferiority.
Second, 'beliefs' propagated by parents to children should be general.
“Stealing will be punished” is a much more effective rule than “Take a
cookie and you will get a spanking.” This is because 'beliefs' which are
general can be transferred to the world at large. The child is then able to
grow up without a need to abandon the narrow-minded principles of his
parents or to rebel from their misguided restrictions.A
Approval Conscience and Condemnation
We just made a detour into the specific situation of parents making
negative statements about their children. We did it after defining approval
'conscience' as that which results from a foundation of emotional 'facts.'
You may wonder why I chose to focus upon such a narrow incident. I
suggest that approval conscience, by its very nature, leads inevitably to this
type of situation. In other words, it is almost universal for children to feel
rejected by their parents and to respond with rebellion. Let me explain why.
First, emotional 'facts' are like mental snapshots. Perceiver thought sees
a specific Mercy incident and 'believes' that it is 'true' in all places and at
all times. Therefore, if mother tells Johnny that he has done something
wrong, Johnny will interpret this to mean that he is „bad,‟ that he has
always been „bad,‟ and that he will always remain „bad.‟ Why? Because
that one Mercy incident defines Perceiver 'truth' for all time; that is how
emotional 'truth' operates. Johnny‟s parents may include a sense of time in
what they say, but what Johnny hears will lack an awareness of time.
A We are looking here at the content of the parents‟ rules. Perceiver
strategy in the child must still escape the infant state of being mesmerized.
That problem will be examined later on.