Me 221hurt.A I suggest that the conflict between body sense and Mercy
identification plays itself out in the various stages of grief, with each step
corresponding to a growth in Perceiver confidence.
Let us suppose that I suffer some major personal tragedy, such as the
death of my wife. My initial reaction is usually denial. In other words,
Mercy strategy will reject the fact that me and my wife are no longer
connected, and Mercy thought will continue to identify with emotional
experiences associated with my dead partner in order to reinforce this 'fact'
with emotional pressure. Emotionally, I will not yet feel that she is dead,
because Mercy strategy—the part of
my mind which produces personal
feelings, is still operating under the
delusion that she is alive and well.
Unfortunately, my wife actually is
dead, and wherever I go, common
sense will impose itself upon my
mind: I will open the door, say “Hello,
Honey, I‟m home,” and get no
response. I will roll over in my sleep,
reach out my hand, and find that she is
not there. The continual repetition of experiences such as these from my
physical body will slowly convince Perceiver thought of the fact that she
and me are now no longer together.
This will lead to the next step of anger. As Perceiver common sense
grows in strength, Mercy strategy will find it difficult to continue
pretending that my wife is still around. Therefore, as Perceiver strategy
begins to gain confidence in the fact of our separation, Mercy thought will
try to use emotional pressure to mesmerize the Perceiver observer into
denying this truth. For a while, these emotional outbursts will succeed in
delaying the acceptance of the facts. But, attacking Perceiver thought in
this way will cause the Perceiver observer to become uncertain in other
areas and thus lead to emotional confusion and uncertainty as the warped
Perceiver „mirror‟ links other Mercy experiences incorrectly. This will
make it more and more difficult for Mercy strategy to continue this
approach.
Eventually, as common sense grows, Mercy thought will find that
emotions can no longer be used to avoid the facts. Perceiver strategy now
has sufficient confidence to believe that the death really has occurred, and
A There is also the question of responsibility. Guilt says that me is
responsible for the problem, whereas hurt is imposed upon me by some
outside force. However, in both cases Perceiver strategy is trying to use
facts to make me live with a painful experience. Therefore, the mental
conflict between Perceiver and Mercy thought is the same.