222 A Programmer’s Guide to the Mind
Mercy thought will „give up.‟ This leads to depression and deep pain as
Mercy strategy begins finally to truly experience the separation. For a
while, emotions will probably be very unstable as the struggle continues
between Mercy identification and Perceiver confidence: At times Mercy
strategy will succeed in pretending that me and my wife are still connected,
while at other times Perceiver thought will manage to keep us mentally
separated.
Finally, Perceiver confidence will grow to the extent that the break
becomes final and the connection is internally severed. Mercy strategy will
no longer think of me as someone who has lost his wife, but rather as
someone who does not have a wife. This is known as closure. I will now
find it possible to put the emotional pain behind me and to start living
again. It is when these final mental cords are severed that the world begins
to open up for me again. No longer will every experience be colored by the
feeling of loss. Rather, I will discover that I have regained the ability to
enjoy life, with Mercy discernment altered now by a deeper emotional
maturity.
Four stages in dealing with guilt, hurt, or failure:
Denial. Mercy emotions overwhelm Perceiver confidence in facts.
Anger. Mercy feelings fight Perceiver knowledge.
Grief. Perceiver facts force Mercy thought to accept feelings.
Closure. Perceiver facts reconnect Mercy experiences.Notice that we are beginning to clarify the distinction between me and
Mercy identification. Whenever Mercy strategy identifies with an
experience, it pulls it into the internal world of Mercy thought. Earlier on,
we discovered that not all situations which enter Mercy internal thought
actually are part of me. Rather, some may be like me, or have been me, or
hopefully will be me. Now we are discovering that not all memories within
internal Mercy thought remain me. Instead, Perceiver belief has the power
to separate experiences within the Mercy internal world away from me.
Gradually, as Perceiver thought gains in strength, me becomes better
defined.
As a child, I remain engrossed in my own world, entirely egocentric
and totally locked into the present. Nothing exists except me and my own
feelings. As I grow up inside, Perceiver thought separates my Mercy
internal world into memories of „you,‟ „him,‟ and „her‟ as well as me. I
begin to realize, as this happens, that the universe does not revolve around
me. Other people and other times exist, and self-worship in consequence is
displaced by friendship.
We started this section by looking at Aristotle and his description of
emotional catharsis. I suggest that the level of Perceiver confidence also
plays a role in that process: If Perceiver confidence is low, then simple