256 A Programmer’s Guide to the Mind
my physical body finds itself living in a new and improved environment,
which now matches the me of Mercy identification—that is, if my visions
can be made real. However, if the kingdom of „heaven‟ cannot come down
to „earth,‟ if it is not possible to do things on „earth‟ as they are done in
„heaven,‟ if people around me will not change, then I remain stuck trying
to live on both sides of the mental chasm. Like the Eastern mystic or the
Western philosopher, my head is in the clouds, but my feet are glued
firmly to the stubbornly solid earth of the old me—which refuses to
dissolve. I become split, both here and there, and as a result, neither here
nor there, but rather with my identity stretched upon the rack, and the
chasm of uncertainty a deep wound which runs through the heart of me.
Suffering versus Patience
I suggested that the option of moving first with the me of the physical
body describes the path of suffering. In contrast, I suggest that moving
initially with the me of Mercy identification represents the road of patience.
Both options can produce personal transformation.
We can illustrate the difference between suffering and patience with the
help of a diagram. In suffering, a disaster occurs which makes me feel bad
for a length of time. While in this situation, the wish is for life to return to
normal. In contrast, patience starts with normal life. In this case, the wish
is for something good to happen. In both situations, it is the gap between
the real and the desired me which forces the identity transfer to occur; it
spreads my two feet apart, pulling one „leg‟ forward and the other
backward.
We encountered the idea of patience earlier on when examining
conscience. There, we were looking at an episode of patience, while here
we are referring to the path of patience. If I learn patience in enough
individual situations, then eventually I will reach the point where my
identity itself begins to be characterized by patience. It is this repetition
which turns an episode of patience into the path of patience. In other words,
patience now becomes the building block out of which the structure of the
new me is formed. Patience is present in suffering as well. Suffering is
motivated by the emotional pain of either hurt, guilt or failure—some
inescapable experience which is imposed upon me. This is not the building
material of the new me. Rather, it is the method by which the old me is
torn down. Destruction of the old me leaves identity out in the open,
exposed to the elements. This leads to a search for building material out of
which a more solid and lasting me can be constructed. That building
material, I suggest, is again patience. The agony of living with my problem
while wishing that I could get rid of it slowly builds patience—if I allow it
to happen. In other words, only patience can build a new me, and the path
of suffering works because it also ends up teaching patience.