Feist−Feist: Theories of
Personality, Seventh
EditionIII. Humanistic/Existential
Theories- May: Existential
Psychology
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Companies, 2009Chapter 12 May: Existential Psychology 359to anarchy and the ultimate destruction of freedom. Without destiny, then, we have
no freedom, but without freedom our destiny is meaningless.
Freedom and destiny give birth to each other. As we challenge our destiny, we
gain freedom, and as we achieve freedom, we push at the boundaries of destiny.
Philip’s Destiny
When Philip, the architect immobilized by his relationship with Nicole, first sought
Rollo May as his therapist, he was paralyzed with inaction because he had refused
to accept his destiny. He saw no connection between his adult pattern of relating to
women and his childhood strategy of getting along in an unpredictable and “crazy”
world. His destiny, however, was not fixed by those early experiences. Philip, like
other people, had the freedom to change his destiny, but first he had to recognize his
biological, social, and psychological limitations; and then he had to possess the
courage to make choices within those limitations.
Philip lacked both the understanding and the courage to confront his destiny.
Up to the point of seeking therapy, he had tried to compensate for his destiny, to con-
sciously deny it. “He had been searching for someone who would make up for his
having been born into an unwelcoming world consisting of a disturbed mother and
a schizophrenic sister, a destiny that he did not in the slightest choose” (May, 1981,
p. 88). Philip’s denial of his destiny left him resentful and confused. His inability or
unwillingness to face his destiny robbed him of personal freedom and kept him tied
to his mother.
Philip treated his wives and Nicole in the same way that earlier had proven suc-
cessful with his mother and sister. He could not dare express his anger to women, but
instead, he adopted a charming though somewhat possessive and protective attitude
toward them. May (1981) insisted that “the freedom of each of us is in proportion to
the degree with which we confront and live in relation to our destiny” (p. 89). After
several weeks of psychotherapy, Philip was able to stop blaming his mother for not
doing what he thought she should have done. When he began to see the positive
things she didfor him, he began to change his attitude toward her. The objective facts
of his childhood had not changed, but his subjective perceptions had. As Philip came
to terms with his destiny, he began to be able to express his anger, to feel less trapped
in his relationship with Nicole, and to become more aware of his possibilities. In
other words, he gained his freedom of being.
The Power of Myth
For many years, May was concerned with the powerful effects of mythson individ-
uals and cultures—a concern that culminated in his book The Cry for Myth(1991).
May contended that the people of Western civilization have an urgent need for
myths. Lacking myths to believe in, they have turned to religious cults, drug addic-
tion, and popular culture in a vain effort to find meaning in their lives. Myths are not
falsehoods; rather, they are conscious and unconscious belief systems that provide
explanations for personal and social problems. May (1991) compared myths to the
support beams in a house—not visible from the outside, but they hold the house to-
gether and make it habitable.