The Economist - USA (2022-01-22)

54 International TheEconomistJanuary22nd 2022

This creates an incentive to settle. At least

20,000  lawyers  have  been  trained  to  help

divorcing couples this way, says the Amer­

ican Bar Association.

Australia has won plaudits for trying to

make divorce less bitter. In 2006 its federal

government  began  funding  “family  rela­

tionship centres”, mostly run by charities,

offering  free  and  cheap  mediation.  They

help families adjust to their new lives. Par­

ents take classes on how divorce can affect

their  children.  Clueless  fathers  have  even

been offered cooking lessons. The centres

began  as  an  alternative  to  the  legal  route.

Ireland and some Canadian provinces also

offer free or cheap mediation. 

Businesses are getting in on the act. Di­

vorceHotel,  a  firm  from  the  Netherlands

with  branches  in  America  and  elsewhere,

offers a “concept based on mediation to en­

sure  a  professional,  fast  and  affordable

way  of  divorcing...We  see  your  separation

not just as the end of your marriage, but al­

so as the beginning of a new phase in your

life.” Couples stay (in separate rooms) at a

luxurious hotel where mediation lasts over

a  weekend;  you  can  have  a  massage  or

game of golf between sessions.

Another  firm,  It’s  Over  Easy,  offers  di­

vorcing American couples online legal ad­

vice on filling out forms, co­parenting, and

changing  surnames.  Some  law  firms  are

marketing  themselves  as  advisers  to  both

halves of divorcing couples, not just to one

battling spouse. This has been practised in

France,  Italy  and  the  Netherlands  and  is

spreading to England. 

I bet you’re hiding it

In  an  adversarial  system,  lawyers  spend

much time and energy sussing out “what’s

in  the  pot,”  with  each  side  frequently  dis­

puting  the  answer.  Such  rows  tend  to  be

less  ferocious  when  the  couple  gets  the

same  advice  from  a  single  law  firm.  The

parting  couple  are  more  likely  to  honour

terms they have both voluntarily agreed to,

rather than ones ordered by a judge. 

Five  years  after  Australia  set  up  family

relationship  centres,  the  number  of  dis­

pute cases linked to children in courts had

dipped  by  32%.  When  the  centres  were

created, 32% of those getting separated and

involved  with  children  had  a  “conflictual

or fearful relationship” with their ex. Three

years later that had fallen to 15%.

Collaborative  approaches  save  money,

too.  Therapists  and  mediators  tend  to  be

cheaper  than  lawyers.  Paying  one  legal

team  instead  of  two  plainly  slashes  costs.

In  an  adversarial  divorce,  lawyers  usually

charge  hourly  rates,  which  creates  an  in­

centive  to  drag  the  battle  out.  So  the  pro­

cess  is  getting  quicker.  Many  of  the  non­

adversarial systems have fixed prices. 

Even when the division of money is the

most contested issue, as it often is with the

rich or childless, progress towards less bit­

teroutcomesisbeingmade.Inthe1960sal­

imonywasawardedinroughlya quarterof

Americandivorces.Ithassincedroppedto

around10%.Betweenthemid­1990sand

mid­2000s, alimony in Switzerland fell

from roughly one­half of cases to one­

third.InGermany andseveralAmerican

statesthelengthoftimeitisawardedcan

belimited;onceanex­husbandhasshelled

outfor,say,sevenyears,hisobligationis

over.InEnglandspousalmaintenancecan

beawardedindefinitely,butthatisbecom­

ingrarer,too.IntheNordiccountrieshard­

ly anyonepaysalimony—the defaultas­

sumption,rootedinhighlevelsofequality

betweenthesexes,isthatbothpartiesare

capableofsupportingthemselves.Judges

acrosstheWestaregettingkeeneronclean

breaks.

Attitudes areshiftingthroughout the

rich world. Big­scale divorce litigation,

saysMsWoodham,is“becominga bitem­

barrassing”.Celebritiestoutthebenefitsof

“consciouslyuncoupling”.Moredivorced

families are “birdnesting”: the children

livefull­timeinonehome,whiletheirpar­

entsflitbackandforth,likebirdstaking

turnstowatchtheireggs.Theparentsmay

evenjointlyowna flat,wheretheoff­duty

onecanreside.ABritishsurveybyCo­Op

LegalServices foundthat11%ofdivorcedor

separated British couples have tried to

birdnest.“SplittingupTogether”,anAmer­

icansitcombasedona Danishone,depicts

a familytryingtomakeit work.

Divorced fathers are spending more

timewiththeirchildren.InSwedeninthe

mid­1980sonly1%ofchildrenwithsepa­

rated parents regularly livedwith both;

usuallytheystayedwiththemother.Now

around40%do.Otherrichcountriesare

witnessingthesametrend.Fathersareget­

tingcustodymoreoftenthanbefore.Some

interior­design firms now specialise in

decorating their homes. Children who

spendatleast35%oftheirtimewitheach

parentafterdivorcetendtodobetteremo­

tionally, findsLindaNielsenofWakeFor­

estUniversityinNorthCarolina.

Laws inAustralia,Sweden andsome

Americanstatesrequirejudgestoconsider

splittingcustodytimemoreorlessdown

themiddle.Thattoomarksa culturalshift:

moremothersworkoutsidethehomeand

more fathers areinvolved intheir chil­

dren’supbringing.Sharedcustodycanbe

hard,though.Buying two setsofevery­

thingisexpensive.Parentsmustfindjobs

inthesamecity.Thosewhomakeitwork

aretypicallyricherandbettereducated.

Themiseryofwinner-takes-all

InJapan,wheredivorceisfarrarerthanin

EuropeandAmerica,manypeoplethink

sharedcustodyisdisruptiveforchildren.

Courtsdon’tawardit,thoughfamiliesmay

privatelyagreetoit.Manydivorcedfathers

areallowedtoseetheirchildrenforonly

threehoursa month.KizunaChild­Parent

Reunion, an advocacy group, estimates

that 58% ofJapanese children with di­

vorcedparentslosecontactwiththeone

theyarenotlivingwith.Thiswinner­take­

allsystemleadstofuriousdivorcebattles.

InScandinaviatherearefewerbattles

overmoneybetweendivorcingcouples.In

Swedentherulesoverassetsaresoclear

thatfewcouplesfightoverthem:theyare

dividedequally.Courtsassesschildmain­

tenance, with a monthly minimum of

around$185.Sharedparentingisthenorm.

Lawyersarerarelyinvolved.

Thedivorcerateinmostrichcountries

hasdippedorstayedaboutthesamesince

1990 becausefewerpeoplearegettingmar­

riedinthefirstplace(seechart1).Intheeu

18%ofbabiesbornin 1993 wereoutofwed­

lock.By 2019 thathadrisen to43%(see

chart2).TheScandinavianfigureis53%.

Butarrangementsforchildrenwhosepar­

ents’non­maritalpartnershipsfailareget­

tingmoreco­operative,too.

Acrosstheworld,divorcestillinvolves

copious tears, regrets and vituperation.

Buttheremovalofthejudicialallocationof

blame and the trend towards speedier,

cheaperandlessadversarialwaysofend­

ingmarriagearesurelylighteningthebur­

denofunhappiness,especiallyonchildren

caughtinthemiddle.n

Happily ever after?

United States, marriage and divorce rates

Per 1,000 people, each year

Source: Institute for Family Studies

1

100

80

60

40

20

0

191020009080701960

Marriage

Divorce

The frayed knot

Births outside marriage, % of all births

Source: OECD *No data in 1970 †2017 ‡1975

‡

†

2

Japan

Poland

Germany

Australia

US

Spain

Britain

Sweden

France*

806040200

1970 201