224 Interpersonal Theory of Personality
TABLE 9.2 Some Possible Catalysts of Internalization
Developmental Achievements Traumatic Learning
Attachment Early loss of attachment figure
Security Childhood illness or injury
Separation-individuation Physical abuse
Positive affects Sexual abuse
Gender identity
Resolution of Oedipal issues
Self-esteem
Self-confirmation
Mastery of unresolved conflicts
Identity formation
formation and maintenance. We can posit core issues likely to
elicit the activation of central reciprocal patterns and their
associated IPIRs, potential developmental deficits associated
with early experiences, and unresolved conflicts that continue
to influence the subjective experience of self and others. The
output of such intrapsychic structures and processes for indi-
viduals are those consistently sought-after relational patterns
and their typical strategies for achieving them (i.e., proximal
and internal field regulation). These become the basis for
the recurrent interpersonal situations that characterize a
human life.
It is our view that what catalyzes and reinforces identifica-
tion, recapitulation, and introjection is the organizing power
of developmental achievements and traumatic stressors. Al-
though interpersonalists have discussed differential “evoking
power” of behavior due to situational constraints and the
quality of interactions (i.e., moderators of complementarity),
we believe such evoking power is limited in comparison to
the catalyzing effects of major personality developments and
their underlying motivational influences. At different points
in personality development, certain motives become a prior-
ity. Perhaps initially the formation of attachment bonds and
security are primary motivations; but later, separation-indi-
viduation, self-esteem, mastery of unresolved conflicts, and
identity formation may become priorities (see Table 9.2). If
we are to understand the reciprocity seeking, field-regulatory
strategies individuals employ, we must learn what interper-
sonal behaviors and patterns were required to achieve partic-
ular developmental milestones. In this way, we see that what
satisfies a need or achieves an important goal for a given in-
dividual is strongly influenced by his or her developmental
history. In addition to developmental achievements, trau-
matic learning may also catalyze the internalization of pat-
terns associated with coping responses to early loss of an
attachment figure, severe physical illness in childhood, sex-
ual or physical abuse, and so on.
Integrating the developmental and traumatic catalysts
for internalization of reciprocal interpersonal patterns allows
for greater understanding of current behavior. If individuals
have the goal of individuating the self in the context of a cur-
rent relationship in which they feel too enmeshed, they are
likely to employ strategies that have been successful in the
past. Some individuals have internalized hostile forms of dif-
ferentiation such as walling off, whereas others have inter-
nalized friendly forms of differentiation such as asserting
their opinions in an affiliative manner. The overt behavior of
the other is most influential as it activates a person’s ex-
pectancies, wishes, and fears associated with current goals,
needs, and motives; this will significantly influence their
covert experience of impact messages. In our opinion, the
most important goals, needs, and motives of individuals are
those that are central to personality development.
A brief example highlights this point and provides some
clues as to why individuals may repeat maladaptive interper-
sonal behaviors over and over. Another psychotherapy pa-
tient treated by the first author was severely sexually and
emotionally abused by multiple family members while she
was growing up. The predictive principle of oppositionto
what she experienced as a child characterized her transitive
actions towards others in the present. In all dealings with
others she was hyper-loving and hyper-protective, even when
clearly to her detriment. She compulsively exhibited such
behaviors, even when treated badly by others. In therapy,
it became clear that she counteridentified with her perpetra-
tors and chronically exhibited the opposite pattern in order to
maintain a conscious sense of individuation. It was as if she
were saying, “If I allow myself to become even the slightest
bit angry or blaming, it will escalate and I’ll be just like those
who hurt me in the past.” Unfortunately, although she could
shed tears for the victims of the holocaust and the victims of
the recent epidemic of school shootings, she could not do so
for herself. She had also introjected her early treatment
within the family and continued to self-injure and ignore her
own needs and basic human rights. Thus, although she con-
sciously behaved in ways that individuated her from her
abusers, she also abused and neglected herself in ways that
unconsciously maintained attachment to her abusive IPIRs
(see Table 9.3).
We end this chapter with a bit of speculation. A broader tax-
onomy of reciprocal interpersonal patterns such as SASB pre-
dictive principles and copy processes, combined with a theory
of personality development and motivation, can be the basis
for understanding both personality and its pathology. Obvi-
ously this approach could take many forms. From the contem-
porary interpersonal perspective developed in this chapter, a
basic approach would be an open system with consideration
of IPIR-Goal linkages associated with fundamental develop-
mental achievements and traumatic learning. We could also