330 The Social Self
this view. Gardner et al. (2000) presented participants with
acceptance and rejection experiences. Rejected participants
later demonstrated better memory for the social aspects and
events in a diary they had read earlier. Thus the experience of
rejection seems to make people focus on social events to a
greater extent.
Self-Defeating Behavior
Psychologists have often been fascinated with self-defeating
behavior because of its fundamental and paradoxical nature
(for reviews, see Baumeister, 1997; Baumeister & Scher,
1988). It seems irrational for people to act in ways that are ul-
timately self-defeating. Why do people do things that bring
them suffering, failure, and other misfortunes? A broad range
of social problems (e.g., drug addiction, overeating, under-
achievement, excessive risk-taking) can be regarded as self-
defeating acts. Many of these problems are caused by failures
ofself-controlorself-regulation(Baumeister, Heatherton,
et al., 1994), which occur when people find it difficult to resist
tempting impulses. In addition, a loss of self-control can lead
to taking self-defeating risks (Leith & Baumeister, 1996),
which in turn may cause undesirable outcomes such as poor
health, drug and alcohol abuse, and harmful accidents.
Self-control loss is also detrimental for relationships.
Living together with other people requires some degree of
accommodation and compromise, because the self-interest
of the individual is sometimes in conflict with the best interests
of the group. Sharing, showing humility, respecting the rights
and property of others, and other socially desirable acts require
some degree of self-control. Few people want to live with
someone who continually exploits others, breaks promises,
abuses drugs, lashes out in anger, and takes stupid risks. Hence
people must use their self-control to curb these impulses, if
they want to maintain good interpersonal relationships.
Evidence from the sociological literature suggests that
marriage(which is one important form of belongingness) in-
oculates against many self-defeating behaviors. When com-
pared to unmarried or divorced individuals, married people
are less likely to abuse alcohol and drugs (D. R. Williams et al.,
1992). As mentioned earlier, married men are less likely to be
arrested for speeding or reckless driving (Harrington &
McBride, 1970) and are less likely to be involved in car acci-
dents (Harano et al., 1975), especially in those related to
alcohol (Richman, 1985). In one of the first works of modern
sociology, Durkheim (1897/1951) found that suicide—
perhaps the ultimate self-defeating behavior—was more com-
mon among people who were unmarried or otherwise socially
unconnected. These correlational studies suggest a relation-
ship between belongingness and self-defeating behaviors,
including loss of self-control and risk taking. As noted previ-
ously, however, these studies are limited due to their correla-
tional design and their exclusive focus on marriage.
In addition, married people are often mentally and physi-
cally healthier than single, divorced or widowed individuals.
The correlation between marital status and health may have
several causes. First, it is possible that spouses provide prac-
tical support for health behaviors, such as by reminding their
partners to keep physicians’ appointments, eat well, and ex-
ercise regularly. The social interaction of a marital relation-
ship may also directly increase mental health, which may
increase physical health in turn. Third, and most relevant
here, not being involved in a close relationship may encour-
age risky, self-defeating behaviors. Just as single and di-
vorced people are more likely to take risks while driving,
they may also take more risks with their health. We have al-
ready established that unmarried people are more likely to
abuse alcohol and drugs. The same risk-taking, self-defeating
tendency may also lead the unmarried to neglect their health
by missing appointments, declining to seek health informa-
tion, and taking a passive role toward health maintenance. It
seems that many people feel that life is not worth living (or
not as worth living) without close relationships. However, the
causation may work the other way; it is certainly plausible
that unhealthy people are not as likely to marry or have as
many close social relationships.
Like the previous evidence on antisocial behavior, the
evidence on social exclusion and self-defeating acts is pri-
marily correlational. We performed a series of experiments to
determine the causal path between social exclusion and self-
defeating behavior (Twenge, Catanese, & Baumeister, 2001).
We manipulated social exclusion using the same methods
employed in the research on aggressive and prosocial behav-
iors (future prediction of a life devoid of social relationships,
or rejection by peers). These experiments found that ex-
cluded participants consistently displayed more self-
defeating behavior. Compared to the other groups, excluded
participants procrastinated longer, took irrational risks in a
lottery choice, and made more unhealthy choices. These ef-
fects were not mediated by mood, no matter how mood was
measured (we used three different mood measures). The mis-
fortune control group, who heard that they would be accident
prone later in life, did not show significant increases in self-
defeating behavior. Thus it appears to be specifically social
exclusion that makes people self-destructive.Cognitive ImpairmentIf mood does not mediate the relationship between social
exclusion and negative outcomes, what does? One possibility