frustration. And this in turn leads to two things: first, many messages are not
understood, and secondly some apparently factual conflicts can simply not be
solved, because the solution is being sought at the wrong level. After all,
communications also takes place unconsciously.
3.2.4.2 Leading by Dialog
Far too often, when leaders talk about “communication” what they have in mind is
pure information, i.e., only half of what makes up communication. True communi-
cation requires a “dialogical setting,” as Reinhard K. Sprenger put it. This entails
attentive, interested listening and an effort to truly understand (and not just to hear)
the other person and to share in his or her perceptions. Each perception is subjec-
tive, influenced by personal experiences and judgments. Especially supervisors
often insist on having a monopoly on truth and objectivity; anyone who sees
something else must not really be watching. This narrow-minded attitude is
a breeding ground for misunderstandings.
“A dialogic attitude means acknowledging the fundamental differences between
two people in terms of their perceptions and judgments and making them the
starting point of the conversation. In this approach, the contribution of the other
person represents an opportunity, even if – or precisely because – their point of
view is quite different from yours. It can contribute to the completeness of
the overall picture – a source of enrichment” (Sprenger 1999, pp. 194–195).
If a conversation was a real dialogue, you will notice that you leave it feeling
differently than when you entered into it.
Acting dialogically means being curious and open to thinking and talking.
It means a fundamental openness to alternative possibilities for action. According
Factual level (content)- This is what has happened.
- This is the damage that has occurred.
- These goals are jeopardized.
- What has it been like until now?
- What is necessary to find a solution?
- What effects are to be expected?
- Who is effected?
- What would be ideal?
Social level (relationship)- Who is afraid of being regarded as
responsible? - Who is not interested in finding a solution?
- Who likes (doesn't like) whom?
- Who has goals of his or her own?
- Who plays which role?
- Who is to be "used" for what?
- Who has what kind of power?
- What human effects will the solution to the
problem have? - How were conflicts dealt with until now?
Fig. 3.2 The two levels of communication (Source: Pinnow, Daniel F., Management Guide 2000,
Bad Harzburg9/1999)
140 3 Systemic Leadership or: Designing a World That Others Want to Be Part Of