During the settlement process. When will person A have solved the problem? Who
can help him or her? Should the problem prove to be unsolvable, who will most
easily come to terms with it? Do you think that I can help you with it? How could I
help best? How you can help me to help you? If we find a more appropriate
explanation (than your current conjecture), will it affect the process in a positive
way, or simply lengthen it? Concerning the wishful thinking scenario: what is bad
about it? Concerning the worst-case scenario: what is good about it? How would
you recognize that the problem is gone? What have you done to exacerbate the
problem? Concerning all solution options: what would happen if...? If the
consequences are undesirable, then find new measures.
At the conclusion of the discussion. Should we still have more conversations? Are
you now more confident that you can help yourself? Should we end the coaching for
now, and start up again when needed? What are your goals for next time?
It is important that at the beginning of the session the employee or the manager,
who will be coached can explain in detail his or her view of things and listens to the
coach in order to analyze the problem. On the basis of the findings of the diagnosis,
the coach and coached develop proposals for change. Each proposal is reviewed for
its potential consequences. The settlement process is done in dialog and aims in the
first step at the development of new ideas and in the second at the development of
new measures. Important factors: small steps at the beginning; closely monitoring
the change; if required, adapting the measures to the system further. After coaching
the measures are tried and evaluated in the next session. The assessment can be
renewed on the basis of the following questions:
What has changed?
Does the problem still exist?
Has it been replaced by a new one?
4.2.4 Conflict Management
Conflicts between problems and opportunities – this sums up the handling of conflicts.
Whether a factual conflict, a relationship conflict or a conflict of values – usually
employees and managers vary between lamenting, acting, therapy and resignation.
But these conflicts also have a positive side: we learn from each other, we encounter
different views, and we are not so prone to jumping to the obvious solution. For
change processes, conflicts are even essential, as only conflicts release the energy that
is needed for change.
Conflicts are normal; they are part of everyday business life. How conflicts are
resolved determines the morale of the employees and, taken in sum, the quality of
the corporate culture. Dieter Frey once said: “Not the conflict is the problem, but the
way it is handled” (Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, May 4, 2005). Frey criticized
the fact that there was no conflict culture in the business world. Many executives
were either avoiding conflicts or provoking conflicts in hard times.
222 4 More Than Just Talking or: The Instruments of Systemic Leadership