In principle, I agree with this analysis. To me it is important, however, that
conflicts are not only perceived as normal, but also perceived as rewarding – as long
as people deal with conflicts, as long as they deal with the true issue and do not
withdraw. Yes, conflicts are essential. A 2002 study carried out by the Academy
showed that teams tend to fail when they cover up conflicts; 90% of all executives
surveyed agreed. Far fewer respondents (53%) believed that openly dealing with
conflicts was critical for the failure of teams (see Academy Study 2002).
The prerequisite for good conflict management in companies is an anxiety-free
communication culture. It must be possible to address any topic, without having to
fear negative consequences. This also becomes evident from how leaders conduct
critical conversations. In this example, I would like to more closely examine how
conflicts can be dealt with.
As a prerequisite for a successful critical conversation four aspects should be
considered: Leaders should praise, praise, praise – not only in the actual conversa-
tion, but in general. The appreciation of the criticized employee should always take
priority. Mistakes must be viewed by managers and employees alike as oppor-
tunities. Finally, the feedback must always be acceptable for the employee.
Praise, praise, praise. Criticism is only acceptable if praise has been previously
expressed. Therefore, never forget to praise your employees. This can be a little
something in between (“Good idea; thanks!”) or a larger issue (You mention the
employee’s completing their final project with praise in front of the entire depart-
ment). A rule of thumb is that the relation between praise and criticism should be
4:1, so that criticism is not seen as a lack of appreciation. Give the management tool
“praise” a try. Unfortunately, in our society criticism is much more common than
a kind word. Break this cycle and praise whenever you notice something positive.
By praising you can also make your own life easier. Performance that is achieved
through pressure requires constant monitoring; performance that stems from emp-
loyees’ self-motivation does not need to be monitored. However, praise only what
is truly worthy of recognition. False praise is often understood as a humiliation – or
as the calm before the storm.
Appreciating the employee. Your employees’ behavior is generally based on a
positive intention for the person or group in question. This also applies to behavior
that could be called a “mistake.” If for example an employee constantly annoys
you with stupid jokes and disrupts work processes, he or she may very well want
nothing more than recognition and attention – and is willing to become unpopular in
order to get it. You could remove the troublemaker or try to change them with
pressure. However, it is more sensible to find out the real motivations for their
behavior and to satisfy them by other means. If this troublemaker wants attention,
you can give it to them by occasionally praising their work; then their troublesome
behavior will stop all by itself.
Viewing mistakes as opportunities. Errors at work cannot be avoided. It
shouldn’t be any other way, because mistakes are always a chance to learn some-
thing more, to pick up new ideas and grow. The greatest inventions of mankind
“happened accidentally” – they were in one way or another the product of errors.
Only in cases of sabotage are errors malicious. All other errors happen because of
4.2 Tools as Means to an End 223