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managers a sense of courage. Leaders need courage to confront the dark cor-
ners where so much of their dysfunction resides, and they need courage to be-
come someone fundamentally dif ferent in overcoming those handicaps. Third,
we help managers develop a sense of passion. Leaders must have a sense of
passion about creating a better “them” because that is the only thing that cre-
ates a better “us.” Without the irreverence to question assumptions, the
courage to act and grow in ways that are fundamentally awkward and risky,
and the passion to really care about what happens to themselves, their people,
and the world—a leader is not worth following.
Irreverence, courage, and passion are equally important for the coach. A
good coach has to have real problems with authority and the ability to look at
people who are in those positions as no better (and quite often worse) than
others. A coach also needs the courage (if not the narcissism) to want to cre-
ate an impact on others that will completely transform them. And the coach
must believe that in doing so he is helping to make that person and the world
a little better.
We measure the success of our coaching in two ways. First, is the manager
now producing the interpersonal results that they intend to produce, as op-
posed to having those effects occur haphazardly and caustically? Second, do
the people that the manager affects feel better toward them, have greater re-
spect for them, and view them as more credible, responsible, and trustworthy?
In other words, the criteria for success lie outside the manager we are coach-
ing. We evaluate the impact of the leader by the impact on the followers.
“ What kind of manager am I?” “How do I affect the people around me?”
“Who do I need to become to bring out the best in others?” Real leaders ask
those sorts of questions of themselves all the time. They know that introspec-
tion, critical self-examination, painful honesty, and a willingness to change
and grow are essential leadership tools. To accomplish that sort of deep, be-
havioral shift, many coaches claim that the manager ’s own desire to change is
the critical ingredient. I respectfully (if not irreverently) disagree. In my nar-
cissistic opinion, what managers really need is a solid dose of panic. Anything
less will fail to provide them with sufficient motivation to try something dif-
ferent, let alone become someone different—a person who is Responsible,
Empower ing, Accountable, and Loving to themselves and others.