118 50 TOPEXECUTIVECOACHES
industry, organization, team, clients, etc.) needs and “what others are willing
to pay for.” This leads to breakthroughs about new strategies, optimal uses of
talent, effective communications and more. We also look at following a “joy-
ful mission” as a way of operating so that each day is infused with greater
focus and a sense of triumph.
As coach, I serve as confidential sounding board, life-watcher/colearner,
brainstorm partner, and devoted champion. Not being friend, boss, spouse,
and so on puts the coach in a uniquely powerful place of having no ulterior
motives or inhibiting concerns. A great coach is optimistic, but not a Pollyanna
cheerleader. Nurturing is balanced with healthy challenges and kicks in the
butt. I’ve learned that clients can take and appreciate more tough love than we
often assume. My approach focuses on future possibilities and on unlocking
potential, not on past mistakes or correcting problems. I encourage clients to
take a holistic approach—to access the compass of one’s heart, fuel physical
energy, and give birth to bold plans of the mind. We create provocative con-
versations that lead to sustainable positive changes.
I heard the following quip at a Linkage conference and have quoted it ever
since. “In an encounter with a good coach, you walk away impressed with the
coach. With a great coach, you walk away impressed with yourself.” Let’s as-
sume that coaching training, credentials, and experience are a given. Beyond
that, it’s about chemistry and qualities that are salient to your unique prefer-
ences. You want a coach who has the ability to not just listen well, but to lis-
ten for.I am almost always on a treasure hunt, listening forunderlying
themes, values, patterns, strengths, possible new solutions, and so on. Clients
say they feel pleasantly surprised at what we are able to draw out of them. You
also want a coach who does not give advice, but shares wisdom. It’s the coac-
tive coach’s oath to never tell anyone what to do. However, it’s relevant that
I’ve been a zealous student of adult development, whole health, and leader-
ship for decades and worked with hundreds of clients by now. I share princi-
ples, an ever-growing collection of pragmatic tools and intuitive insights that
could help a client become a better master of his own life/work voyage.
I always come back to that model of trusting that the client has the an-
swer. You also want to feel genuinely accountable to your coach. You want to
feel that she is in your corner, thinking of you, cheering you on (maybe inside
your head between sessions), and expecting a report or other specifics from
you. Lastly, I would want a coach to be playful, funny, smart, and great at
brainstorming new possibilities.
Effective coaching should be a catalyst for you to arrive at insights, solu-
tions, new ideas, and behaviors that you would not have achieved on your
own. The question “how will we know if we have been successful?” is clearly