than indignation. It turns the quarrel off. There cannot be
a one-person quarrel. But be sure that your indifference is
genuine. You must really feel indifferent, both for your own
tranquility and to be able to express your indifference with
disarming non-response. Counting to 10 or to 10,000 while
you are seething inwardly, will do little good. You must so
genuinely ignore the matter that it obviously is too incon-
sequential for you even to notice.
Never react or over-react in anger. H you do
not become involved, you cannot escalate a quarrel. Com-
pletely ignore it.
The way to avoid most troubles is to apply the
GENTLE ART OF LETTING ALONE.
And, specifically, which situations should you
LET ALONE?
Here are two of many examples.
Use this simple test. Ask yourself these ques-
tions:
H you would carry out the action considered:
(a) Would you threaten to cause LOSS? Any
threat invites antagonistic response, but the threat of LOSS
provokes instant hostility. People will compete for gain,
but they will fight to avoid loss. Never do, say or write
anything which threatens to cause loss to another. LET IT
ALONE!
(b) Would you belittle another's feeling of
importance? This chapter has warned against your reacting
offensively to such a situation, but the odds are that another
will respond with often a surprising degree of antagonism
to any demeaning of his precious feeling of importance. If