Four things.
Other things, too, perhaps-but always these
four, because just as personal tragedy is inevitable, these
four steps to recovery are infallible.
Each of the four is spelled beginning with an
"A", which makes them easy to remember when grief blurs
our thoughts: A ... A ... A ... A.
( 1) ADMIT: First, you must ADMIT that
the tragic loss has occurred. There may be temporary relief
in numb disbelief. But the anesthesia of disbelief wears off
in confrontation with fact and encourages withdrawal from
reality in a vain attempt to sustain escape.
There is a mental danger in playing make-
believe with tragedy. It is better (in fact, it is necessary
if you are to maintain sanity) to face tragedy frankly,
squarely, honestly. There is relief and strength in the cour-
age to meet reality boldly and openly, to ADMIT that what
is so, IS so.
Only when you have taken the first step, AD-
MIT, is it possible to obtain the merciful relief of the next
step toward peace of mind and spirit:
(2) ACCEPT: By fully admitting your tragic
loss, you open the way to what probably is the greatest
and most rewarding of all mental, emotional and spiritual
powers: ACCEPTANCE.
Acceptance of the inevitable is one of man-
kind's greatest achievements. In recognizing the human
inability to control all circumstances, ACCEPTANCE gives
man mastery over the consequences of those events he
cannot control.