Thoughts to Build On

from the other person's feeling of importance, his desire
to be admired, his favorable self-image.
( 2) If frustration already exists-eliminate it.
Then there will be no further cause for aggression.
( a) Stop doing the things which have caused
the frustration. Subject every action which might possibly
cause frustration, to the following test: Is this action
ABSOL UTELY NECESSARY or is it merely an expression
of my own personal preference? You will find that most
restrictions, restraints, contradictions, arguments and an-
noyances are not ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY and the
frustration-aggression they cause could easily be avoided
by eliminating them.
(b) Reason away the frustration by "selling"
the need for or desirability of the restraint or other action
which MUST be taken. Restrictions and other often frus-
tration-producing actions need not be frustrating. It usually
is the manner in which they are imposed that provokes the
initial feelings of frustration. Properly explained, necessary
restrictions are accepted as being necessary, and therefore
do not cause frustration. It is the parent who proclaims,
"You may not do this... you may not do that!"...
without explanation, and too often without a logical reason
possible of explanation, who causes frustration-aggression
in children.
( c) Immediately follow a frustration-creating
action with a substitute offer which, if possible, is equal to,
or more desirable than, the necessary restriction. For ex-
ample, management says to labor, "We cannot pay all of
the wage increase you ask, but we can modify your pension