How to be assertive
ASSERTION AND AGGRESSION
Assertiveness, as defined by Ken and Kate Back (1982) in
Assertiveness at Work, is:
■ Standing up for your own rights in such a way that you do
not violate another person’s rights.
■ Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs
in direct, honest and appropriate ways.
When you are being assertive you are not, therefore, being
aggressive, which means violating or ignoring other people’s
rights in order to get your own way or dominate a situation.
Aggressive behaviour causes two counterproductive reactions:
fight or flight. In other words, aggression either breeds aggres-
sion, which gets you nowhere, or it forces people to retreat in a
demoralized or dissatisfied way. Including this sort of behaviour
will not help to achieve your aim of getting them to go along
with you.
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