what you are doing that does not work, and what you need to do
differently. It is suggested that if you change what you think, feel
and believe, you will dramatically alter the results you get. With
repeat practice, these skills become automatic and lead to a
continuous improvement in performance.
DEVELOPING YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCEYour company can do much to help, including, perhaps, training
you in NLP skills. But there is much you can do for yourself,
taking into account the nature of emotional intelligence and the
NLP approach. The following are 10 steps you can take.
- Recognize that only you can improve the results you
achieve. - Get to know yourself better by carrying out a formal self-
appraisal as described in Chapter 14. Obtain answers to
questions such as: ‘What aspects of my performance are
going well?’, ‘What aspects of my performance do I need to
improve?’ and ‘What do I need to do to improve my
emotional intelligence skills (interacting with other
people)?’ - On the basis of this assessment take the four components of
emotional intelligence and the associated competencies
listed earlier in this chapter, and analyse your own behav-
iour and the impact it has made on other people. Obtain
answers to the following questions: ‘How good am I at self-
management?’, ‘How self-aware am I?’, ‘How socially aware
am I?’ and ‘How effective are my social skills?’ - Seek feedback from your boss, your colleagues, your subor-
dinates and your clients. Try to find out what impression
you make on them and where they think you could do
better. - Focus on those aspects of your behaviour where, first, there
is the most room for improvement, and second, the likeli-
hood of being able to change is reasonably high. Don’t
expect quick results. Changing behaviour can be a long
haul. - Refer to specific aspects of behaviour rather than generaliza-
tions.
How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence 75