Response to Offenses
What is our response when we are offended,
misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or
sinned against, made an offender for a word, falsely
accused, passed over, hurt by those we love, our
offerings rejected? Do we resent, become bitter,
hold a grudge? Or do we resolve the problem if we
can, forgive, and rid ourselves of the burden?
The nature of our response to such situations may
well determine the nature and quality of our lives,
here and eternally. A courageous friend, her faith
refined by many afflictions, said to me only hours
ago, “Humiliation must come before exaltation.”
Forgiveness Required
It is required of us to forgive. Our
salvation depends upon it. In a
revelation given in 1831 the Lord
said:
“My disciples, in days of old, sought
occasion against one another and
forgave not one another in their
hearts; and for this evil they were
afflicted and sorely chastened.
“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye
ought to forgive one another; for he
that forgiveth not his brother his
trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for
there remaineth in him the greater sin.
“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of
you it is required to forgive all men.” (D&C 64:8–10.)
Therefore, Jesus taught us to pray, “And forgive us
our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against
us.” (See Matt. 6:14–15.)
Does it not seem a supreme impudence to ask and
expect God to forgive when we do not forgive?—
openly? and “in our hearts”?
The Lord affirms in the Book of Mormon that we
bring ourselves under condemnation if we do not
forgive. (See Mosiah 26:30–31.)
But not only our eternal salvation depends upon
our willingness and capacity to forgive wrongs
committed against us. Our joy and satisfaction in
this life, and our true freedom, depend upon our
doing so. When Christ bade us turn the other
cheek, walk the second mile, give our cloak to him
who takes our coat, was it to be chiefly out of
consideration for the bully, the brute, the thief? Or
was it to relieve the one aggrieved of the destructive
burden that resentment and anger lay upon us?...
God help us to rid ourselves of resentment and
pettiness and foolish pride; to love, and to forgive,
in order that we may be friends with ourselves, with
others, and with the Lord.
“... even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
(Col. 3:13.)
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.Principle of Mutual Respect
President Spencer W. Kimball
“It is not enough to refrain from
adultery. We need to make the marriage
relationship sacred, to sacrifice and
work to maintain the warmth and
respect which we enjoyed during
courtship. God intended marriage to be
eternal, sealed by the power of the
priesthood, to last beyond the grave.
Daily acts of courtesy and kindness,
conscientiously and lovingly carried
out, are part of what the Lord expects”
(in Conference Report, Oct. 1978, 7; or
Ensign,Nov. 1978, 6).President Howard W. Hunter
“Any man who abuses or demeans his wife physically
or spiritually is guilty of grievous sin and in need of
sincere and serious repentance. Differences should
be worked out in love and kindness and with a spirit
of mutual reconciliation. A man should always
speak to his wife lovingly and kindly, treating her
with the utmost respect. Marriage is like a tender
flower, brethren, and must be nourished constantly
with expressions of love and affection” (in Conference
Report, Oct. 1994, 68; or Ensign,Nov. 1994, 51).President Gordon B. Hinckley
“How beautiful is the marriage of a young man
and a young woman who begin their lives together
kneeling at the altar in the house of the Lord,
pledging their love and loyalty one to another for
time and all eternity. When children come into that
home, they are nurtured and cared for, loved and
blessed with the feeling that their father loves their
mother. In that environment they find peace and90 THEFAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THEWORLD