It is appalling. It is alarming. And
when all is said and done the cost can
be attributed almost entirely to human
greed, to uncontrolled passion, to a
total disregard for the rights of others.
In other words to a lack of civility. As
one writer has said, “People might
think of a civilized community as one
in which there is a refined culture. Not
necessarily; first and foremost it is one
in which the mass of people subdue
their selfish instincts in favor of the common well
being” (Royal Bank Letter,May–June 1995). He
continues: “In recent years the media haveraised
boorishness to an art form. The hip heroes of
movies today deliver gratuitous put downs to ridicule
and belittle anyone who gets in their way. Bad
manners, apparently, make a saleable commodity.
Television situation comedies wallow in vulgarity,
stand up comedians base their acts on insults to
their audiences, and talk show hosts become rich
and famous by snarling at callers and heckling
guests” (Ibid).
All of this speaks of anything but refinement. It
speaks of anything but courtesy. It speaks of anything
but civility. Rather, it speaks of crudeness and
rudeness, and an utter insensitivity to the feelings
and rights of others.
It is so with much of the language of the day. In
schools and in the workplace there is so much of
sleazy, evil, filthy language. I hope that every one of
you will rise above it. You are now graduates of this
great institution. You cannot afford the image of
those whose vocabularies are so impoverished that
they must reach into the gutter for words with which
to express themselves. Along with such uncouth
talk is so much of profanity. It too marks a lack of
civility. The finger of the Lord wrote on the tablets
of stone, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord
thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him
guiltless that taketh his name in vain” (Ex. 20:7).
Sloppy language and sloppy ways go together. I
hope that you have learned more than the sciences,
the humanities, law, engineering and the arts, while
you have been here. I hope that you will carry with
you from this hallowed place a certain polish that
will mark you as one in love with the better qualities
of life, the culture which adds luster to the mundane
world of which we are a part, a patina which puts a
quiet glow on what otherwise might be base metal.
Said the Savior to the multitude: “Ye
are the salt of the earth: but if the salt
have lost his savour, wherewith shall
it be salted? it is thenceforth good
for nothing, but to be cast out, and
to be trodden under foot of men”
(Matt. 5:13).
Civility is what gives savor to our
lives. It is the salt that speaks of good
taste, good manners, good breeding.
It becomes an expression of the Golden Rule:
“Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that
men should do to you, do ye even so to them”
(Matthew 7:12).DISCIPLINE A VIOLENT TEMPER
President Gordon B. Hinckley
First Counselor
in the First Presidency
In Conference Report,
Oct. 1991, 70–71, 73;
or Ensign,Nov. 1991,
50–52Permit me to read from another letter. Said the writer:
“My husband is a good man with many outstanding
qualities and character traits, but underneath it all
there is a strong streak of authoritarianism.... His
volatile temper flares up often enough to remind me
of all the potential ugliness of which he is capable.
“President Hinckley,... please remind the brethren
that the physical and verbal abuse of women is
inexcusable, never acceptable, and a cowardly way
of dealing with differences, especially and particularly
despicable if the abuser is a priesthood holder.”
Now, I believe that most marriages in the Church
are happy, that both husbands and wives in those
marriages experience a sense of security and love, of
mutual dependence, and an equal sharing of burdens.
I am confident that the children in those homes, at
least in the vast majority of them, are growing up
with a sense of peace and security, knowing that
they are appreciated and loved by both of their
parents, who, they feel, love one another. But I am
confident, my brethren, that there is enough of the
opposite to justify what I am saying.
Who can calculate the wounds inflicted, their depth
and pain, by harsh and mean words spoken in anger?332 TEMPTATIONS OFSATANAND THENATURALMAN