ImagesPA; Getty ImagesLouis van Gaal will always be remembered
for his great Ajax team of the ’90s,
winning the Champions League, four
Dutch crowns, a Bundesliga title with
Bayern Munich and two La Liga triumphs
at Barcelona.
No doubt, he was one of the finest coaches
of the modern era. But he will also be
recalled fondly for... well, being a bit mad. In
25 years as a manager, King Louis had plenty
to say for himself – for our amusement...
“Congratulations on signing the best coach in
the world” – on his very first day as a manager,
after being appointed by Ajax in 1991
“It’s only 12 o’clock. At 2 o’clock, Jesus has
to walk with the cross. OK, Happy Easter, but
it’s a little bit early”
“I’ve signed a contract with the Dutch
national team until 2006, so I can win the
World Cup not once but twice” – er, before
failing to qualify for the 2002 World Cup finals,
then leaving his post afterwards
“I once dropped my pants in front of the entire
[Bayern] squad. I wanted to make clear: when
I make a substitution, I don’t do so for my
own ego, but for the sake of the team”
“It is unique that someone who is still alive
writes an autobiography” – unveiling his new
book, while very much alive“I’ve never worn leggings like [Arjen] Robben.
I’m never cold, as I’m so warm-blooded. My
wife says so, too. We always sleep spooning”“I have the body of a God. Lederhosen suits
me” – getting ready for Oktoberfest“The first captain is Wayne Rooney, the
second captain is Michael Carrick and last
season the third captain was Mr Mike
Smalling – sorry, I mean Chris Smalling”“Every human being who is grabbed with
their hair would react. Only with sex
masochism, then it is allowed, but not in
other situations” – after Manchester United
midfielder Marouane Fellaini has his hair
pulled by Leicester defender Robert Huth
in 2016“I said to my players that I was squeezing
my ass, but it was the wrong expression. I
have twitched my ass”“This man is not normal” – responding to
Paul Merson’s punditry19
NEREO ROCCO
Rocco won two European
Cups with Milan in the ’60s,
but he is often forgotten among
Italy’s coaching greats. His love of
catenaccio is often maligned, but Rocco’s
teams scored freely. The Italian was a
ferocious winner who shaped attitudes of
countless countrymen to follow, and also
conquered some of the most celebrated
sides of all time; namely, Eusebio’s Benfica in
1963, Johan Cruyff’s Ajax in 1969, and
Argentina’s infamous Estudiantes outfit.18
CARLO ANCELOTTI
Ancelotti is one of just five managers
to have won the Champions League at
two different clubs – first at Milan in 2003,
before ending Real Madrid’s quest for La
Decima in 2014. He began his managerial
adventure with three years alongside Italy
boss Arrigo Sacchi in the early-90s, then
instantly took Reggiana up from Serie B.
Later, he breathed some life into former club
Milan and turned a struggling side into
continental kings, while titles at PSG, Chelsea
and Bayern Munich add to his haul.17
OTTMAR HITZFELD
Hitzfled has felt the highs
and lows of Champions
League finals more than anyone.
In 1997, his gutsy Dortmund beat Juventus
to lift their only such trophy to date. Two
years on, he watched in horror as Ole Gunnar
Solskjaer toe-poked Manchester United’s
late winner against his stunned Bayern
Munich. ‘Gottmar’ soon made amends in
2001, taking his major trophy tally to 18 over
spells in Germany and Switzerland –
including seven Bundesliga titles.16
MIGUEL MUNOZ
Munoz is Real Madrid’s most
successful manager. He is
also the man who once told icon
Alfredo Di Stefano to ‘f**k off’. The city native
is Real’s longest-serving gaffer, having spent
more than 14 years at the Bernabeu and
won 14 honours including two European
Cups and nine La Liga titles. In that time
Munoz became immune to egos, as shown in
his team’s 1964 European Cup final defeat to
Inter when he gave a critical Di Stefano short
shrift. The Blond Arrow never put a Los
Blancos shirt on again.20 LOUIS VAn GAAL
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