In spring last year, as we began to
emerge from a long winter of isola-
tion, there was one song I played
on repeat. It was sent to me count-
less times, I sent it on countless
times, always with a plea to listen
to it as soon as possible. I Do This
All the Time by Self Esteem is part
soaring vocals, part spoken-word
piece that tells the story of a woman facing the truth of
herself — someone who has fallen short of society’s
traditional expectations of her — and learning to accept
and love who she is in spite of that. It is both confessional
(“When I’m buried in the ground/ I won’t be able to
make your birthday drinks but I will still feel guilty”) and
reassuring (“Getting married isn’t the biggest day of
your life./ All the days that you get to have are big”). It is
one of those songs that so profoundly articulates what it
is to feel abnormal that ironically it ends up representing
every single person who listens to it.
It was the first single from the second solo album,
Prioritise Pleasure, by the 35-year-old Rotherham-born
Rebecca Lucy Taylor, aka Self Esteem. As her stage name
suggests, her music (a hybrid of pop, poetry and perfor-
mance art) encourages women to ask for more — to ques-
tion the norm, take up more space, stop obsessing over
keeping everyone happy and, crucially, recentre their own
needs and desires. She has become a pin-up and an oracle
for millennial women, and has, perhaps lazily, been
compared to Phoebe Waller-Bridge on account of her wit
and frankness. They certainly both possess that rare skill
of capturing the bittersweet balance of life; of being able
to make you laugh, before slapping you hard in the face
with profundity. In her song F***ing Wizardry, Taylor
states: “Part of being funny is having some sincerity/ And
using both of them wisely.” Her lyrics are bejewelled with
relatable references to digital anxiety — unfollowing exes,
leaving lovers on read and feeling enslaved to your phone
(“Sexting you at the mental health talk seems counterpro-
ductive”). Perhaps that’s why her songs feel like deep
insights from a therapy session and tipsy thoughts from a
long night bus home.
Her album received five-star reviews from the broad-
sheets, as did her accompanying live shows. She wasscared of me...
Her music tackles everything
from orgasms to anxiety – and
her thirtysomething female fans
can’t get enough of it. Over a
few whiskies, Dolly Alderton
meets Self Esteem, the pop star
everybody’s talking about
Photographs Tun g Wal s h Styling Luke DayGold dress, £675,
and recycled satin
shoes, £445,
Vivienne Westwood.
Satin stole, £90,
Miscreants. Gold
signet ring, £280,
Alighieri, and signet
ring with sapphires,
£550, Bleue
Burnham, worn
throughoutThe Sunday Times Style • 15