"Generally the patient replies: 'But there is nothing I like doing.' I have prepared for this
answer, because I have heard it so often. 'Then refrain from doing anything you dislike,'
I say. Sometimes, however, he will reply: 'I should like to stay in bed all day.' I know that,
if I allow it, he will no longer want to do it. I know that, if I hinder him, he will start a war. I
always agree.
"This is one rule. Another attacks their style of life more directly. I tell them: 'You can be
cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription. Try to think every day how you can
please someone.' See what this means to them. They are occupied with the thought.
'How can I worry someone.' The answers are very interesting. Some say: 'This will be
very easy for me. I have done it all my life.' They have never done it. I ask them to think
it over. They do not think it over. I tell them: 'You can make use of all the time you spend
when you are unable to go to sleep by thinking how you can please someone, and it will
be a big step forward in your health.' When I see them next day, I ask them: 'Did you
think over what I suggested?' They answer: 'Last night I went to sleep as soon as I got
to bed.' All this must be done, of course, in a modest, friendly manner, without a hint of
superiority.
"Others will answer: 'I could never do it. I am so worried.' I tell them: 'Don't stop
worrying; but at the same time you can think now and then of others.' I want to direct
their interest always towards their fellows. Many say: 'Why should I please others?
Others do not try to please me.' 'You must think of your health,' I answer. The others will
suffer later on.' It is extremely rare that I have found a patient who said: 'I have thought
over what you suggested.' All my efforts are devoted towards increasing the social
interest of the patient. I know that the real reason for his malady is his lack of co-
operation and I want him to see it too. As soon as he can connect himself with his fellow
men on an equal and co-operative footing, he is cured. ... The most important task
imposed by religion has always been 'Love thy neighbour'. ... It is the individual who is
not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the
greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.
... All that we demand of a human being, and the highest praise we can give him is that
he should be a good fellow worker, a friend to all other men, and a true partner in love
and marriage."
Dr. Adler urges us to do a good deed every day. And what is a good deed? "A good
deed," said the prophet Mohammed, "is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of
another."
Why will doing a good deed every day produce such astounding efforts on the doer?
Because trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking of ourselves: the very
thing that produces worry and fear and melancholia.
Mrs. William T. Moon, who operates the Moon Secretarial School, 521 Fifth Avenue,
New York, didn't have to spend two weeks thinking how she could please someone in
order to banish her melancholy. She went Alfred Adler one better-no, she went Adler
thirteen better. She banished her melancholy, not in fourteen days, but in one day, by
thinking how she could please a couple of orphans.
It happened like this: "In December, five years ago," said Mrs. Moon, "I was engulfed in
a feeling of sorrow and self-pity. After several years of happy married life, I had lost my
husband. As the Christmas holidays approached, my sadness deepened. I had never
spent a Christmas alone in all my life; and I dreaded to see this Christmas come.
Friends had invited me to spend Christmas with them. But I did not feel up to any gaiety.
I knew I would be a wet blanket at any party. So, I refused their kind invitations. As