TANTRIC BUDDHISM (INCLUDING CHINA AND JAPAN)My husband said, "If I spend one-third of our wealth, what will we
four eat? Girls are the ones who want jewels. If we don't get a woman
to take care of us, because the children are young, it will be difficult to
maintain the family. We will spend an amount for your funeral, which
we won't be sorry for later. That's the way it is, and I can't promise we
will spend an exact amount."
Now because of what he said, it seemed to be that I'd be given no
great virtues. When I had the power to do so, I didn't know enough to
give my jewels to lamas and teachers or how to do the dharma, and I
was sad. Thinking that he would let the children fall into the hands of
another lay-woman, I felt pity that my children would suffer, and while
I was in this state, my head and body went awhirl.Karma-dbang-'dzin (I, A: 7-16)
When she was in her mother's womb and when she was born there
were auspicious omens. From a tender age it was apparent she was
intelligent, compassionate, pious and virtuous. She did not care for
worldly things. The sde-pa of 'Og-gro sent a message to her parents
importuning them to send her as a bride. Her parents, being of a
worldly tum of mind, wanted her to go. An arrangement was reached
with 'Og-gro, and she went as a bride. Once there she met with lamas,
meditators and hermits and received from them teachings and initia-
tions.
One time she was making preparations to do retreat at the hermitage
of Khra (alt. Phra) phu. All the villagers gave her things for the retreat
and accompanied her there. At the hermitage, she developed a great
faith in the Buddha, and although her relatives decorate her with orna-
ments she thinks, "Now, though I'm decorated with ornaments, this life
is like a dream. Hence, when one achieves a precious human form,
although one may not have the confidence that one can lead other
beings to paradise, if one does not have some fear of death, how can
one gain it? If I do not implant an understanding in my own mind, how
will it come about?" She then received further instruction from Grub-
chen Nor-bu-bkra-shis and practices his teachings for about three
months. On the fourth day of the Monkey-month she had a vision of
Guru Rinpoche, holding a vessel and a nectar-filled skull. He tells her
the nectar will aid the eighteen kinds of mdze-disease and teaches her a
mantra. To one side of him is Tara in the form of an eight-year-old girl.
She remembers her former births and finds a deep compassion for all
beings.
One year passes, and on the eleventh day of the third month of the
Dragon-year she is stricken with a terrible disease. She recognizes no
one and loses her taste for fc 0d and drink. She wants to see her kin, but