The Choice

What was in it for you?”
“I wanted him to be successful, and he was so happy when I
helped.”
“And what’s happening now?”
She told me that yesterday she had learned from a mutual friend
that Todd and the new woman had moved in together. And he had a
paper due the next day that she had agreed to write.
“I know he’s not coming back to me. I know I have to stop doing
his homework. But I can’t stop.”
“Why not?”
“I love him. I know I can still make him happy if I do his work for
him.”
“And how about you? Are you becoming the best you can be? Are
you making yourself happy?”
“You make me feel like I’m doing the wrong thing.”
“When you stop doing what’s best for you and start doing what you
think someone else needs, you are making a choice that has
consequences for you. It has consequences for Todd too. What does
your choice to devote yourself to helping him say to him about his
ability to meet his own challenges?”
“I can help him. I’m there for him.”
“You really have no confidence in him either.”
“I want him to love me.”
“At the cost of his growth? At the cost of your life?”
I was very worried about Elise when she le my office. Her despair
was profound. But I didn’t believe she would take her own life. She
wanted to change, which was why she had come to seek help. Still, I
gave her my home phone number and the number to a suicide hotline
and asked that she check in with me every day until her next
appointment.
When Elise returned the next week, I was surprised to see that she